Swan Song…

Last night was my swan song. My “farewell appearance,” as it were. I had stepped down from being in leadership the end of last year (2023)… but one thing after another postponed this time of recognition until last night. To be honest, I would’ve been quite alright if it had been totally forgotten!

I was asked to share some of the things I had learned in my roles as a leader. It was a Zoom meeting, and looking at all those little pictures on the screen– pictures that filled one whole screen and overflowed to a second — catapulted my mind from the present to a host of past memories. Some of those on the screen were dear friends from every season of my life: early days when we lived in Romania; weekly Home Fellowship gatherings in our home in Vienna; conferences in Europe; trainings here in Thailand; teammates who walked with me in the roles that were being honored. Some were new faces that were “meeting” me for the first time virtually.

But BEFORE I shared, those on the Zoom call were asked to write down something they appreciated about me. Oh, brother. That undid me… and made it hard to focus on what I had wanted to say. I stumbled on, unsure of what I actually said! And reflective person that I am, knowing LATER there were things I forgot and things that were unclear. So… for my own benefit, bear with me as I revisit the question…

What are some things you learned in your leadership roles?

• The importance of teamwork. I describe myself as a “reluctant leader.” I think that’s one reason I like reading about Moses in the Old Testament of the Bible. Neither he nor I jump at the chance to be in charge — but rather look at all the things we can’t do, all our inadequacies. I need a significant nudge — more like a kick in the pants — to move into uncharted territory.

That’s how I ended up in these leadership roles. My significant nudge came from God’s Spirit prodding me, propelling me… and yet also like Moses, I wouldn’t be alone in these new responsibilities. Moses had his brother Aaron as his spokesperson; his sister Miriam as a strong support; Hur — the one who helped Aaron hold up Moses’ arms in a crucial battle; his father-in-law Jethro who wisely counseled him to ask for help. I had a team of godly women who played similar roles in my life… and for each of them I’m extremely thankful.

• The benefits of teamwork. Close relationships developed with these dear women. As we worked together, we became more vulnerable — recognizing not only our varied strengths, but also acknowledging our sometimes-hidden weaknesses. Honest sharing — not saying what we thought the other person wanted to hear. Expected to hear.

And yet with that openness and honesty, misunderstandings could surface, especially since most of our interactions took place on Zoom calls. It’s hard to read one’s body language, “hear” one’s heart when the screen has multiple faces staring at you. It’s impossible to “see” everyone at the same time. And so taking the initiative to clear up any perceived misunderstandings became paramount, especially before they morphed into something bigger. Like the proverbial making a mountain out of a mole hill.

• Embracing the ebb and flow of life. One of my philosophies of life is that “Life is not convenient.” Before one of our trainings, I wrote to a friend:

“I feel like I’ve been playing ‘whack-a-mole’ with the upcoming women’s training conference… things just keep popping up, and as soon as one is ‘whacked’ down something else seems to come out of nowhere! Pray that I won’t be so weary and consumed by all the details that I miss out on seeing God at work.”

That busy pre-conference time was what I call a “period of imbalance.” Life doesn’t go at a constant, manageable pace. Sometimes it gets downright crazy! But this imbalance usually doesn’t last forever. There IS light at the end of the tunnel. And during these times, we need to give ourselves — and others — a LOT of grace.

• The importance of believing in one another… yourself… and God. This goes back again to the importance of teamwork. But it also underscores the fact that ultimately, all that we do is not for our glory, for our success, but rather to bring honor and glory to God. To help others see and embrace Him.

Yep. That’s what I had wanted to say. These are also lessons I’m continuing to learn. And as I learn, I’m grateful, dear reader, that you’re with me as we find joy in the journey of this thing called “Life!”

PS

A “swan song” is defined as the last act, appearance, publication, or utterance of a person before retirement or death. I’m obviously still alive! And we’ve not retired. It’s just that God has redirected my focus to be able to have more time — and energy — to be a support to my husband in this season of our lives.