Author: cmmary2021

Fare thee well…

photo credit: http://www.postermywall.com

Well, we made it. My husband and I have been back in our home country a week now. Moving from the tropics to a wintry climate, exchanging flip flops and shorts for multiple layers and yet still being cold… it’s an adjustment to be sure! A crackling fire on the TV screen gives the illusion of warmth and coziness. But hey, I’ll do anything I can to fool my body into thinking I’m warm!

The past two months have been a whirlwind of goodbyes, closing out bank and internet and phone accounts, selling our car, rehoming most of our possessions so that we could travel with only four suitcases (three of the four being overweight, but thankfully the airlines were gracious!), scurrying to be all done with packing and moving so that we could have our “boat days….”

When I took time a couple of days ago to reflect on all that has transpired, I realized that our current physical tiredness is partly due to jet lag — after all, there’s a twelve-hour time difference from where we lived to where we now are! But probably more of the exhaustion comes from fatigue. Decision-fatigue. Moving-fatigue. Goodbye-fatigue.

In other words, emotionally draining stuff.

Back in August I wrote about the importance of building a R.A.F.T. (see link below) The acronym refers to key elements to leaving a place well so that one can enter the next place well.

  • R = Reconciliation: making sure relationships are right.
  • A = Affirmation: acknowledging what others have said or done to encourage us, to help make our stay here meaningful.
  • F = Farewells: saying goodbye to people, places, possessions… AND allowing others to “farewell” you.
  • T = Think destination: thinking about what happens next.

My husband, who is an introvert and behind-the-scenes type of guy, wasn’t so sure about the farewell stuff. I didn’t nag or pressure him — really! He saw that it was important to me, and so acquiesced. Two events in particular ended up being a huge encouragement to both of us… and helped us to see the value of being “farewelled.” Those events provided a sense of closure to a major chapter in our lives. They helped us to say goodbye. To prepare mentally and emotionally for this next chapter. To leave well.

This made me wonder… are there any farewells in the Bible??? What, if any, similarities do they have with what we’ve experienced? What can I learn from their example?

When Moses was nearing the end of his life, his parting words to his protege Joshua were…

Be strong and courageous.

Do not fear or be in dread of [the people of the land he was going to conquer],

for it is the Lord your God who goes with you.

He will not leave you or forsake you.

— Deuteronomy 31: 6

When King David’s time to die drew near, he said to his son Solomon…

Be strong….

keep the charge of the Lord your God, walking in His ways and keeping His statutes, His commandments. His rules, His testimonies…

— I Kings 2: 2-3

After Jesus’ death and resurrection, He appeared to His disciples before ascending into heaven and said to them…

All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me.

Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you.

And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.

— Matthew 28: 18-20

These farewells included…

  • encouragement to be strong… to be courageous
  • encouragement to not be afraid
  • a reminder that God would be with them… they wouldn’t be alone… He would never leave them or forsake them… He would be with them forever
  • instructions on how to live life according to God’s plans and ways

Yep. Farewells are important. They’re an integral part of life. They help us as we move from one country to another; from one job situation to another; from one season of life to another. From the familiar to the unknown.

We’re not sure what this new chapter of life will look like for us… but we ARE sure that we are not going it alone. That God is with us and will be guiding us. That He’s rooting for us and encouraging us to be strong, to be courageous, to not be afraid.

We’re ever so grateful that we have His Word — the Bible — to instruct us on how to live life according to His plans and ways. And that, dear friends, is how we’ll have joy in the journey of this thing called “Life!”

It’s time to build a R.A.F.T.

Boat days…

 Photo from an exhibit at Mystic Seaport.

In bygone days — before travel by airplane became the norm — moving from one part of the world to another was done by ship. These journeys took weeks or even months. Not like the fast-paced travel we’re so accustomed to these days. Such a journey was fraught with numerous challenges, especially if one was prone to sea-sickness.

And yet there was a significant advantage that our modern era misses out on, namely the advantage of time. Time to adjust to no longer being in familiar surroundings. Time to reflect on the past and look forward to the future. Time to process the myriad of emotions that accompany goodbyes, moving, facing an unknown future. Time to rest. Time to prepare mentally for the next chapter of life.

My husband and I are currently having what a friend described as our boat days.

We intentionally moved out of our home ten days prior to our departure (by plane — not by boat!) to our home country. We did this so that we would have time… Time to begin the adjustment process of leaving what has become familiar to re-engaging with what was once known but now different. Time to reflect on the past years — 46+ since we first left our home country — and contemplate what the future may look like. Time to process SO very many emotions as we’ve been saying goodbye to dear friends, to familiar places, to life and a lifestyle that will be redefined soon. Time to catch our breath and get much needed rest. Time to take long walks and talk about what has been and what will possibly be.

Yes, our boat days have been much-needed. A definite blessing.

And yet it struck me earlier today that in a sense we’re now homeless. Some of our belongings have already preceded us to our home country; others (four suitcases full — and I mean FULL!) will accompany us when we fly out next week. We don’t yet have a permanent home. That’s one of the things we’ll be figuring out in the coming year. So we’re in this crazy in-between time of no longer calling here “home,” not having a “home” to move into, not being sure where “home” is.

A recent song I’ve been listening to has been a balm to my soul during this time.

In His presence I’m home again.
My soul finds rest.
My soul finds friend.

In His Presence: Be Still and Know by Praise & Bars

In His presence I’m home again.

In God’s presence… I’m already home! And so where I am geographically, whether or not I’m in a house or apartment or camping in the wilds, whether or not I feel or am homeless… I’m actually already home! And because God never changes, will never give up on or forsake me, and is always faithful and looking out for my good I can rest in knowing that all will be well. All IS well.

And that, dear friends, is how I intend to continue having joy in the journey of this thing called “Life!”

The Big Purge…

Aarrrghhh… My LEAST favorite task when moving is going through the mountain of paperwork that “somehow” seems to accumulate. With only 31 days — YIKES!!! — until we hop on an airplane and leave this place that has been home for almost eleven years, I finally began tackling the dreaded project last week.

Yep. I confess. I’m both a procrastinator and a hoarder. Not a full-scale/all-out hoarder — just one who hangs on to receipts and travel itineraries and notes from phone calls and sentimental “stuff” and…. well, I think you get the picture!

My husband, on the other hand, is a minimalist. He’s the only person I know who has an EMPTY in-box on his computer. More than once, though, I’ve rescued him when he deleted an email he felt wasn’t important but had forwarded to me “just in case.”

Our first experience purging things was after we’d been married one year. We were moving from the Pacific Northwest to the East Coast of America in preparation for eventually moving overseas. We realized we couldn’t cart a lot of “stuff” around the world, and so agreed to get rid of things that both sets of parents had given us when we first got married — things that had taken up space in their homes up until our marriage, things like university textbooks, course notes, a drawing of “The Three Billy Goats Gruff” I’d done in third grade. I know. Pathetic, right?! One thing my husband PROMISED not to throw away was any correspondence between the two of us prior to getting married.

As we were throwing boxes of “stuff” into the landfill, three guesses what fluttered out of a box and into the air?!? A letter he had written me!!! Needless to say, I was not pleased… and he was in the doghouse for a while.

Now, all these years later, we have been doing the same thing: getting rid of “stuff” we no longer need. “Stuff” that literally would weigh us down — especially since we’re only taking four suitcases when we leave, and each can only weigh 23 kgs (50 lbs)!

Hmm… All this makes me think about other “stuff” in my life that may be weighing me down. “Stuff” that may hinder my ability to keep my focus on God. “Stuff” that robs my contentment and instead fuels anxious thoughts. “Stuff” that causes me to easily take offense and get irritable.

The writer of Hebrews in the New Testament of the Bible puts it this way:

… let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race that God has set before this. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith… chapter 12 verses 1-2

Besides all the papers I’m purging, I need to do some personal purging these days: stripping off any and everything that may be tripping me up. Dealing with wrong attitudes and perspectives. Not making mountains out of molehills. Dealing with any sin that the Holy Spirit convicts me of.

Oh, the joys of moving! Thankfully, a time of purging is good — not just for our physical well-being, but even more so for us spiritually. And the biggest benefit — it’s one way we can continue to have joy in the journey of this thing called “Life!”

Empty shoes…

They were the first thing I saw when we returned to my parents’ home from the hospital. Returned home from sitting vigil with my dad the final hours before his death. Returned home to an eerie emptiness that sucked the life out of me.

Daddy’s empty shoes.

I remember the surreal feeling in the hospital parking lot with my mom, brother, and sister. We had said our final goodbyes. Signed all the necessary papers. Zombie-like, we walked in silence to the car.

I remember feeling like the world as I had known it had ceased. There was a disconnect when seeing others laughing, smiling, continuing on with life as though nothing had happened. Nothing earth-shattering HAD happened in their worlds, but in mine… April 25th would never again be “just another day.” It would forever be the day my Daddy died.

That was over twenty years ago, and yet recently I’ve been grappling with similar emotions.

We’ve been counting down from 100 days until our departure from Thailand. Forty-two days until we leave this place that has been home for almost eleven years. Forty-two days before moving to our home country. Forty-two days until we are no longer “expats living abroad,” which has been part of our identity since 1979.

We’re in that surreal in-between time of disengaging from life here before re-engaging in another country, our “home” country. It’s strange to be with friends as they talk about plans for the upcoming Christmas season — realizing we won’t be here to go to the Christmas markets (always a great place to find unique, homemade gifts), watch the play a local theater group puts on each year, attend our church’s Christmas breakfast and service, take in a special holiday concert. It’s strange to realize we will no longer be a part of normal life here.

Yep. Life goes on.

Without us.

This is, of course, natural. OK. It happens! But just like my dad’s death, the finality associated with any kind of change means loss. And loss necessitates that it be acknowledged. And grieved.

I’ve been spending quite a bit of time lately reading and meditating on Psalm 121. Six times in this short psalm the word “keeps/keeper” is used:

… He who keeps you will not slumber.

…. He who keeps Israel with neither slumber nor sleep.

… The Lord is your keeper…

… The Lord will keep you from all evil;

… He will keep your life.

… The Lord will keep your going out and your coming in from this time forth and forevermore.

When something is repeated frequently it makes me wonder why. What’s the significance of the word “keeper/keeps”?

“Keep,” in this context, comes from the Hebrew “shamar.” It has the idea of guarding, watching over, attending to carefully.

What an encouragement to me at this stage of our journey to be reminded that my God is guarding me, watching over me, attending carefully to me. He never gets tired. He never sleeps. He’s ever attentive and wants to protect me. He knows my comings and goings — both here and elsewhere. He is with me in ALL of the uncertainties, the changes, the challenges I face.

As I’ve been doing the “100-day countdown,” I’ve been listing things I’m going to miss living here in the tropics and things I’m looking forward to as we move to our home country (see blog post below where I first shared this idea). What’s been happening lately is that several things in the “miss” column have had their flip-side in the “looking forward to” column. For example, missing routine is paired with looking forward to reestablishing routine; missing familiarity with looking forward to eventually having things be familiar again — with an emphasis on the word eventually!

In the midst of change and the disconnect we’re now experiencing, I’m grateful that my husband and I are focusing on and clinging to the One who is the keeper of our souls. Some days my husband does better than I… other days I’m reminding him… but together we’re choosing to have joy in the journey of this thing called “Life!” A journey that has ups and downs, to be sure. But a journey in which God will continue to guard, watch over, and attend carefully to our steps.

It’s time to build a R.A.F.T.

54 seconds…

photo credit: author

I couldn’t find our stash of birthday candles, so a small tea light had to suffice. And then the wind kept blowing out the solitary candle. The end result, though, was good — actually, better than good!

Our neighbor’s wife was out of the country. We wanted to make him feel special on his birthday, in spite of her absence. The four of us enjoy occasionally going out to eat together. Her English is excellent, and even though he understands English well, his ability to communicate is limited. We definitely know what that’s like — how awkward it can be trying to follow and then respond to a conversation in a second language.

And so we axed the idea of taking him out to dinner and came up with the birthday muffin idea instead. An idea that, according to the video we made in the car park of us singing Happy Birthday and giving him the mufin, ended up taking 54 seconds.

After sending his wife the video, she responded with the above text message, which shows how those 54 seconds brought joy. Made her husband feel special. Remembered. Not forgotten.

We live in such a fast-paced world. A world in which it’s easy to feel forgotten. Overlooked. A world that more quickly points out negativity than celebrates good. A world that too often has forgotten to be civil. Kind. Thoughtful.

Do not withhold good
from those to whom it is due,
when it is in your power
to do it.

from the Wisdom Literature of the Bible, Proverbs 3: 27

I first came across this verse as a young Christ-follower in university. I was new at applying God’s Word to my life — after all, if it really is true, then it should make a difference in what I say and do, right?!

One way I thought I could apply this was to be intentional in looking for ways to come alongside people to encourage them — to “not withhold good” but rather to say something to build them up. To acknowledge how something they said or did impacted me. To look beyond their countenance to their heart — and let them know they ARE seen. Heard. Valued. Even doing little things — like our 54 seconds birthday celebration — can make a difference.

Too often we — I — miss opportunities to make others feel special, to feel worthy simply because we think it may take too much time or effort. In an era where we have instant everything, isn’t it a bit ironic that we often “don’t have time” to even send a text message? Or is it that we get too busy with our own lives that we fail to see those around us?

Whatever the case, I want to counteract such thinking! And I invite you to join me in looking for ways to encourage others. To come alongside and communicate worth and value to those who may be feeling invisible, misunderstood, insignificant. As we do so, I’m confident we will have increased joy in the journey of this thing called “Life!”

Storms of life…

photo credit: Ashley Haack Fine Art

I LOVE the sea! Having grown up near the ocean and having spent countless hours swimming, sailing, water skiing, and walking on the beach, being on or near water truly is my happy place. There’s something about watching the never-ending cycle of waves crashing onto the beach — or even when the sea is merely gently caressing the shore — that calms me. Restores me. Nourishes my soul. Reminds me that my Creator God is likewise constant, consistent, dependable, steady.

But sometimes the sea can be frightening. Overpowering. An adversary to be subdued rather than an ally to be enjoyed. Watching a storm from the safety of the shore is vastly different from being in the midst of the angry waves, tossed to and fro at the mercy of nature. Add to that being pelted by rain or sleet or snow. Lightning flashing. Darkness that engulfs and disorients. Feeling like there is no escaping destruction and loss of life.

There’s a story in the New Testament of the Bible about a sea voyage that took place in the first century. It was a journey that started in Caesarea (on the eastern-most shore of the Mediterranean Sea) and eventually ended in Rome (complete opposite direction).

map of Paul’s Journey to Rome from Olive Tree Bible App

The journey was a challenging one from the start. It started late in the season for sea travel. The initial small vessel wasn’t adequate for the open-sea voyage. Stormy winds blew them off course before they had gotten halfway. The wind was “tempestuous,” which is how we refer to a northeaster in today’s parlance. Such storms appear suddenly, often with violent, whirling winds. They had to stop and take shelter several times.

An additional problem was that the vessel was transporting a man named Paul. He was a God-fearing man who was on his way to Rome to stand trial before Caesar. Paul had warned the captain and crew that the journey would more than likely result in the loss of the ship, cargo, and lives. His warning went unheeded.

They went without food for fourteen days. They had to jettison the cargo. Then they had to get rid of the ship’s tackle. Some of the crew panicked and wanted to escape using the ship’s dingy. BUT Paul warned that doing so would put everyone in jeopardy.

Soon afterwards the vessel ran aground and the stern broke apart in the surf. None of the 276 men on board were lost… but the journey wasn’t over yet! They were only as far as the island of Malta.

… the rest of the story is for another time…

Paul had an unshakeable belief that IF those on the ship did what he suggested all would go well.

… the God to whom I belong and worship…said,
“Do not be afraid, Paul;
you must stand before Caesar.
And… you and all who sail with you [will be safe.]”

So take heart, men,
for I have faith in God
that it will be exactly as I have been told.
But we must run aground on some island.

Acts 27: 23-26

Note that he didn’t say that it would be smooth sailing. But rather in the midst of the storm, all would be well.

Sometimes life feels like being in a storm. We start our journey well… and then “stuff” happens that blows us off course. We lose our bearings. We feel as though we’re being pummeled from all sides with the relentless intensity of circumstances out of our control. Hopelessness and fear engulf us. In our panic, we jettison those things that normally would help keep us upright.

I am not afraid of storms
for I am learning how to sail my ship.

Louisa May Alcott, from her book “Little Women”

From my perspective, it seems that sometimes being “blown off course” is actually more of a detour, a way God uses to get me where He wants me — in HIS timing, not mine. Wanting to jump ship, to try to figure things out and manipulate the results usually is counter-productive. In all honesty, I can feel overwhelmed. Abandoned. Fearful. Hopeless. But the more I get to know God, the more I realize that He is a loving Father who is with me in the midst of the storms, never abandoning me. Never wishing me harm. Wanting me to trust that HE is in control. He has His hand on the rudder and will guide me safely to port.

I’m learning to not be afraid of life’s storms. I’m learning how to sail my ship. I’m learning that wherever my ship goes — by whatever circuitous route, in whatever time frame — I’m not alone.

And may that become true for you as well, dear reader, so that together we may have joy in the journey of this thing called “Life!”

to read more about this sea voyage, see Acts 27:1 – 28:14

Note to my 20-something self…

photo credit: http://www.marketplace.com

We’ve begun the season of “lasts”… tonight being our last Zoom call with colleagues — some of whom we have known for decades. We’ve been asked to share our answer to the following question:

If you could leave a Post-it note of encouragement or advice taped to the suitcase of someone just arriving overseas, what would it say?

Hmm… GREAT question! One that took me back to when my husband and I were in our late 20’s preparing for our overseas adventure. We were excited! Scared! A bit naive — to put it mildly! And yet somehow confident that this HUGE step of faith was exactly the one God had in store for us. We had been married not quite three years, and so the adjustments awaiting us were more than we could’ve ever imagined.

So… what would I share with my 20-something self???

Give yourself — and others — GRACE and SPACE.

GRACE… because you WILL make mistakes. You WILL fail. You WILL be disappointed — in yourself and others. You WILL say and do things that you’d never imagine yourself saying or doing! (remember my stolen milk bottle story?! see below) God will undoubtedly reveal parts of your character that need pruning… pruning so that other, possibly hidden, parts may come to the surface and be nurtured. Pruning of “stuff” that clouds and distorts His image being accurately revealed in your life.

SPACE… to regroup. To think. To process. To re-charge. To unplug from everything that is vying for your attention. To regain perspective. Emotional stuff drains and blindsides us. KNOW that this happens… and so give yourself grace and space to embrace what’s going on and respond accordingly.

Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In ALL your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3: 5-6

“Do not lean on your own understanding”… don’t try to figure everything out!

“In ALL your ways acknowledge Him/seek His will and His ways”… After all, God is God! HE is in control — not you! Make getting to know Him better your number one priority.

Yeah, I know. This will never fit on a Post-it! But it’s what I would say to someone beginning their overseas adventure. And it’s how they — and we — can have joy in the journey of this thing called “Life!”

Me?!? …. A thief?!?

It’s time to build a R.A.F.T.

It’s rainy season here in the tropics. We sometimes joke with friends that it’s time to build an ark — like Noah did centuries ago when the whole world flooded. Thankfully, we live on the fifth floor of our building. Thankfully, we also live a good distance from a river that does, unfortunately, overflow its banks somewhat regularly.

But my husband and I are needing to build a R.A.F.T.

A raft is usually a temporary structure. Not something built to last forever, but something to cling to in the midst of stormy seas. Often rudderless, it’s at the mercy of the elements. It gets one from Point A to Point B — not as swiftly as something more sea-worthy nor as quickly — but it still accomplishes its purpose and “lands” one on another shore.

The late David C. Pollack (see below) developed a tool to help people like us who are in the midst of transition. He came up with an acronym that we’ve used in past moves… and are needing to use once again.

R = Reconciliation

Reconciliation means to reconcile with people. To make relationships right. Sometimes we think that if we just put distance between ourselves and whatever person or problem we struggle with everything will somehow be better once we relocate. BUT… those unresolved issues move with us. Broken relationships don’t just magically disappear. Reconciliation includes needing to forgive others and to be forgiven. A LOT of factors play into this, but at least as far as it depends on me personally, I need to intentionally do what I can to make sure I leave with no relational “stuff” hanging over my head.

A = Affirmation

Affirmation is another way to say “show appreciation.” Acknowledging what others have said or done to encourage us, to help make our stay here meaningful is a win-win situation. Too frequently, words of appreciation aren’t verbalized until it’s too late for the intended person to recognize the role they played in making a difference in our lives — think of eulogies at funerals. But by being intentional in communicating our appreciation, our thanks we validate the other’s impact and let them know how much they meant to us. This can be done either verbally (in-person) or by writing a note — and the more specific the better!

F = Farewells

Farewells… goodbyes are never fun. In fact, I really dislike them (see below for a blog written two years ago). Saying goodbye includes two crucial parts. The first is saying goodbye to people, places, possessions. If at all possible, revisit places that hold special memories. Be sure to schedule time with friends. If you are needing to downsize and get rid of possessions, take pictures of your favorites, and then”gift” them to friends so that you can visualize them still being enjoyed.

The second key part is to allow others to “farewell” you. This often feels quite awkward — after all, not many people enjoy being the center of attention! And yet this is important as much for those who will be remaining behind as for those leaving. It helps to give both parties closure.

T = Think destination

One of the most difficult parts about leaving a place is that one is, of necessity, simultaneously thinking through a gazillion details regarding the move AND thinking about what happens next. It’s like having one foot firmly planted in your current location — where everything is known, familiar, comfortable — while the other foot is firmly planted… in mid-air!?! Where are we going to settle? How will it be different from where we currently live? How will it be the same? What kind of community/support system will we have there?

A good friend, who has gone through several major moves with her family, suggested that my husband and I do a “100-day countdown.” The idea is that each day — for 100 days before we leave — we write down

  • One thing we are going to miss about living here.
  • One thing we are looking forward to when we move to our next destination.

Good advice! Especially since it will help us focus on the positives.

Yes, we’re starting to build a R.A.F.T. We recognize that we’re in this strange in-between time of disengaging from here before re-engaging elsewhere. There undoubtedly will be stormy seas as we move from Point A to Point B , but our “raft,” although temporary, is vital to enable us to leave well… so that we can enter well… so that we can live well… and have joy in the journey of this thing called “Life!”

Goodbyes… never easy

The value of routine…

Dog man. Mr. Happy. Granny. Badminton dad. No-smile jogger.

We’ve nicknamed the people we see regularly on our early morning walks. When we don’t see them, we wonder… are we earlier than normal? are they late? are they ok??

It’s the same reaction I have when we don’t hear from our kids. Or realize we haven’t seen so-and-so in their normal seat at church lately. Are they ok? sick? out of town? Did they lose their phone??

There’s something about routine that frees one’s mind — lets it go on auto-pilot, so to speak. There are numerous benefits to having routines in place. For example, when we were preparing to move overseas a “few” years ago we attended a three-month “boot camp” to help prepare us for our move. We had classes on cultural adaptation, linguistics, team building, conflict resolution, nutrition, marriage and family issues, etc. We were encouraged to build exercise into our weekly schedules. “Encouraged” is a rather mild way of stating it — it was more like a requirement! A minimum of three times a week, 20 minutes of aerobic activity each time. We checked in with our trainer at the end of each week, and if we hadn’t fulfilled the requirement we had to make up any missed sessions! Why make this such a big deal? Because physical activity is a key way to help manage/reduce stress.

Routines also help with time management. Ever since “boot camp,” when I wake up in the morning I endeavor to start the day with some form of exercise. Having that routine in place helps keep me from hemming and hawing, wondering should I or shouldn’t I exercise today? (It also helps me to wake up, which an earlier blog attests to! see link below) Have I done this consistently? Not really. More like off-and-on. When our kids were little, getting regular exercise was hit-and-miss. Now, if I’ve had a late night zoom call or have an early morning one it’s rare that my day starts with exercise.

Another routine that I’ve built into my lifestyle is having what I call my “Quiet Time,” a time set aside to read the Bible, pray, and sometimes journal. This helps to ground me. Gives stability in the midst of ever-changing circumstances and the demands of life. This routine has also morphed over the decades. When our kids were little, my daily Quiet Times sometimes felt like what I read went in one eye and out the other — with nothing connecting to my mind, let alone my heart! But the intent has always been there.

Routines, when adhered to, help us to not procrastinate. Gulp. That’s one I need help with! It’s easy for me to get distracted. To gravitate to things I enjoy doing or do well instead of choosing to do what’s necessary. My agenda — with its calendar and to do lists — helps me keep on track. Most of the time anyway!

Whenever we travel by plane we deal with jet lag. It’s a very real phenomena that results when one’s internal clock gets out of sync with where one currently is in the world. Someone once shared with us to expect to feel like a zombie one day for every time zone crossed. That meant it took our bodies about a week to readjust when we traveled from our home country to Europe when we lived there, but now — with living on the exact opposite side of the globe — it takes even longer! One thing that helps with overcoming jet lag is routine. Going to sleep at the normal time. Waking up at the normal time. And yep, exercising.

Sometimes a break in routine is beneficial– which is one reason why people go on vacation. It’s a time of NOT having to get up the same time each morning. NOT needing to think about doing laundry and responding to emails and all the stuff that fills most days. Having a break can help increase creativity. Give new perspective. Shed light on problems or other issues.

In all honesty, one of the things I’m a bit anxious about with our upcoming move to our home country is finding our new rhythms, our new routines. Redefining the sense of the familiar — like seeing Dog Man and the others on our walks. I know it will come. Eventually.

In the meantime, may we encourage one another to build some healthy routines into our lives so that together we can have joy in the journey of this thing called “Life!”

Back to realizing we haven’t seen so-and-so in their normal seat at church or not hearing from someone (like our kids)… I don’t know about you, but one thing that always lifts my spirits is when someone says, “Hey! Didn’t see you last week. Missed you!” or “Haven’t heard from you for a while. You doing ok?” Being a part of the fabric of society — and being acknowledged when absent — is another way of saying “You’ve been seen. You matter. I care.” But that’s a topic for another blog, another day.

Filling in the blanks…

… neither listened… nor…???

The phrase jumped off the page as I was reading.

“They neither listened nor obeyed.”

It was in reference to the Israelites back in the 8th century BC. The nation had split in two several hundred years earlier. Both the northern and the southern kingdoms were governed by a series of kings, most of whom were jerks. Over and over again God gave them wake up calls to try to get their attention. To try to get them to listen to Him and to keep their part of the bargain (a covenant) they had made with God. They openly defied the clear instructions He had given them, which would’ve ensured that they lived peacefully and productively in the new land they were inhabiting. They were stubborn, defiant, willful. They dishonored and disregarded everything that God had made holy.

Finally, enough was enough!

And so God sent Shalmaneser, the King of Assyria, to carry the northern kingdom into exile. Why?

“... because they did not obey the voice of the Lord their God… they neither listened nor obeyed.”

2 Kings 18:12

It’s bad enough not to obey God… to do what He has told you to do. But to not even listen… that inhibits any awareness of learning what’s on His heart, of even wanting to do so. It cuts off any chance of clearing up misunderstandings. Of being open to considering the possibility that I may be wrong. That my perspective/assessment of a situation is skewed. Of acknowledging wrongs and being forgiven.

I do it, though. Unfortunately. I have “selective listening” — choosing what I want to hear and blocking out the rest. And this doesn’t only refer to God, but also to other people — like my husband! He admits that he is also guilty of “selective hearing” and shares how, early in our marriage, he would sometimes feign listening to me while sneaking peeks at a chess magazine in his lap. Needless to say, that didn’t go over very well! And working on our communication skills has been an on-going theme in our marriage.

Sometimes I don’t hear well because my ears are literally blocked. Sounds become muffled due to a build-up of earwax. Getting rid of stubbornly embedded wax requires the intervention of a skillful physician. And it can be painful.

God is that skillful physician in my life. Rooting out whatever is blocking my ability to hear Him. Applying pressure when necessary. Rinsing, so to speak, with warm water, flushing out whatever tenaciously clings to me.

It’s a poor commentary on the Israelites when they are labeled as “neither listening nor obeying.” And it’s a poor commentary on me as well.

Lord, open my ears that I may hear Your voice — all of what You say and not what I pick and choose. And enable me to obey — wholeheartedly. Unreservedly. Without questions asked. I dishonor You when I pick and choose my way through life. Forgive me. So many voices are vying for my attention these days. Help me to intentionally block them out so that I hear Your voice above all others.

And that, my friends, will help me — and hopefully you — to have joy in the journey of this thing called “Life”!