It was the summer before graduating from university. I had gotten a job as a chambermaid at a hotel in a resort town at the beach. My co-workers and I wore turquoise blue dresses as we changed beds and cleaned bathrooms. Yes, dresses. It was the 70s after all! We also wore “sensible” shoes because of being on our feet all day long.
When preparing a room for new guests, I left a little booklet on the bedside table that told a bit about me: what I was studying at university, what my interests were, what I was hoping to do after graduation. It also included a brief summary of the decision I had made two years earlier to become a Christ-follower, and explained how one might initiate a personal relationship with Christ like I had done.
One morning, a little girl stood in the hallway intently staring at me as I prepared to clean her family’s room. She had a perplexed look on her face, a look of total confusion. She finally blurted out, “I thought you were a nun, but I’ve never seen one dressed like you!”
She had made the assumption that a) the booklet I had left in their room indicated I was a “religious” person and since b) the religious people she knew were all dressed in black habits — not turquoise blue dresses! I must therefore c) be a nun!
Jumping to conclusions. Making assumptions. We’re all prone to do it. But the results can be much more serious than assuming one’s wrong occupation like the little girl did so many years ago.
Another case of making an erroneous assumption is recorded long before that encounter at the hotel when I was in university. This time we read about it in the Old Testament book of Numbers.
The Israelites were preparing to enter the Promised Land. FINALLY! They had wandered in the wilderness for forty years, and now were getting final instructions before conquering and dividing up the land they were to inherit. Two of the tribes (Reuben and Gad) wanted to stay on the East side of the Jordan River. They raised livestock, and that land was more conducive for their herds than the land on the other side of the river. They very respectfully went to their leader (Moses) and requested permission to settle there.
Moses had a fit! He got really angry!
Do you intend to stay here while your brothers [the other tribes of Israel] go across and do all the fighting? Why do you want to discourage the rest of the people of Israel from going across to the land the Lord has given them? Your ancestors [the ones who had earlier spied out the land] did the same thing… they discouraged the people of Israel from entering the land the Lord was giving them… Here you are, a brood of sinners doing exactly the same thing! You are making the Lord even angrier with Israel. If you turn away from Him like this and He abandons them again in the wilderness, YOU will be responsible for destroying this entire nation!
Numbers 32: 6-15
He assumed their request meant the men would not join the other tribes in going to battle to conquer the land, but rather wanted to take the easy way out, staying on “their” side of the river.
Wrong!
The tribes of Reuben and Gad then explained to Moses that they were willing to arm themselves for battle and join the others. They simply wanted to get their families and livestock situated before doing so.
We simply want to build pens for our livestock and fortified towns for our wives and children. Then we will arm ourselves and lead our fellow Israelites into battle until we have brought them safely to their land. Meanwhile, our families will stay in the fortified towns we build here, so they will be safe from any attacks by the local people. We will not return to our homes until all the people of Israel have received their portions of the land. But we do not claim any of the land on the other side of the Jordan. We would rather live here on the east side and accept this as our inheritance.
Numbers 32:16-19
Wrong assumptions can be deadly. By misreading a situation, we’re prone to jump to wrong conclusions. We don’t understand motives, often guessing at them. Often guessing wrong.
We sometimes (almost all the time??) don’t let the other person explain their thinking. We barge ahead, not listening — because we’ve already made up our mind. We usually assume the worst.
Wrong assumptions can destroy relationships. We become suspicious. They foster wrong thinking. We end up shrinking back from saying or doing something.
Hmm… what can I learn from all this?
- Take time to listen… really listen.
- Avoid the tendency to cut the other person off because you think you know what they will say or what they want to do.
- Choose to believe the best about others — instead of jumping to the worst, often negative, conclusions.
- Be open to seeing things from a different perspective.
- Ask questions to clarify any potential misunderstandings.
There’s another incident of misjudging motives and jumping to wrong conclusions once the two tribes finished helping the others conquer the land and were returning to their homeland. But I’ll save that for another blog.
In the meantime, I’m guessing this is something that isn’t a one-time-got-it-all-figured-out kind of thing. But rather something we ALL need to grow in.
We’re ALL in process. But hopefully together, we can have joy in the journey of this thing called “Life!”
Joy in the Journey 