Tag: faith

The missing lyrics…

photo credit and license: Computer Gremlin by Larry Wentzel

Aaarrgh…. I’m beginning to think there is a gremlin living in my laptop! The lyrics to “Thank You for This Year” by Elohim Songs that I thought had been in yesterday’s post somehow mysteriously disappeared from the email version that was sent. Two failed attempts… so here goes number three… but hopefully, as the saying goes, “the third time’s a charm.”

Thank You, thank You Lord

Thank You for this year.

For every morning that I woke

for every breath, for every hope

for all the blessings I could see

and those you gave invisibly

for answered prayers and those still held

for stories written, stories yet to tell

for laughter shared and tears You dried

thank You, Lord, for this year’s ride.

Through the highs and through the lows

through the joys and through the woes

You were there in every way

so I lift my voice today…

Thank You for this year

for every moment, every tear…

for holding me close, so near…

for blessings seen and unseen…

for everything it’s been

for friends who walked beside me here

for family held both far and near

for open doors and lessons learned

for every bridge that You have burned

for strength when I had none to give

for grace that taught me how to live

for second chances, fresh new starts

thank You, Lord, with all my heart.

You’ve been so good to me this year

Your faithfulness so crystal clear

I can’t keep silent anymore

my gratitude is overflowing more…

For trials that became my strength

for waiting seasons, perfect length

for disappointments turned to gold

for stories only You could mold

for healings, breakthroughs, victories won

for battles fought, for races run

for quiet mercies every day

thank You, Lord, in every way.

How can I thank You enough?

For all You’ve done, for all Your love?

My words fall short but still I say

Thank You, Lord, thank You today.

For January’s hope

for December’s grace

for every month between

I’ve seen Your faithful face

for Spring’s new life, for Summer’s warmth

for Autumn’s change, for Winter’s calm

every season bore Your mark.

You’ve been faithful from the start…

Thank You for three hundred sixty-five

Thank You for keeping me alive

for every sunrise

for every sunset

for every moment

I won’t forget

Thank You for all You’ve done!

My heart is full!

My cup runs over

with thanksgiving…

Thank You for Your presence

Thank You for Your guidance

Thank You for Your mercy

Thank You for Your love.

As this year comes to a gentle close

I count the blessings, everyone I know

not because my life was perfect,

free from pain

but because through it all, You remained.

Thank You for this year

every high and low

…. for helping me to grow

Thank You for this year

and for the year to come…

— lyrics from “Thank You for This Year” by Elohim Songs

Goodbye 2025… Hello 2026!!!

I happened upon a new song — released December 27th — that expresses a lot of what is on my heart these days…

Thank You, thank You Lord

Thank You for this year.

For every morning that I woke

for every breath, for every hope

for all the blessings I could see

and those you gave invisibly

for answered prayers and those still held

for stories written, stories yet to tell

for laughter shared and tears You dried

thank You, Lord, for this year’s ride.

Through the highs and through the lows

through the joys and through the woes

You were there in every way

so I lift my voice today…

Thank You for this year

for every moment, every tear…

for holding me close, so near…

for blessings seen and unseen…

for everything it’s been

for friends who walked beside me here

for family held both far and near

for open doors and lessons learned

for every bridge that You have burned

for strength when I had none to give

for grace that taught me how to live

for second chances, fresh new starts

thank You, Lord, with all my heart.

You’ve been so good to me this year

Your faithfulness so crystal clear

I can’t keep silent anymore

my gratitude is overflowing more…

For trials that became my strength

for waiting seasons, perfect length

for disappointments turned to gold

for stories only You could mold

for healings, breakthroughs, victories won

for battles fought, for races run

for quiet mercies every day

thank You, Lord, in every way.

How can I thank You enough?

For all You’ve done, for all Your love?

My words fall short but still I say

Thank You, Lord, thank You today.

For January’s hope

for December’s grace

for every month between

I’ve seen Your faithful face

for Spring’s new life, for Summer’s warmth

for Autumn’s change, for Winter’s calm

every season bore Your mark.

You’ve been faithful from the start…

Thank You for three hundred sixty-five

Thank You for keeping me alive

for every sunrise

for every sunset

for every moment

I won’t forget

Thank You for all You’ve done!

My heart is full!

My cup runs over

with thanksgiving…

Thank You for Your presence

Thank You for Your guidance

Thank You for Your mercy

Thank You for Your love.

As this year comes to a gentle close

I count the blessings, everyone I know

not because my life was perfect,

free from pain

but because through it all, You remained.

Thank You for this year

every high and low

…. for helping me to grow

Thank You for this year

and for the year to come…

— lyrics from “Thank You for This Year” by Elohim Songs

Yes, like the songwriter I have a lot to be thankful for as we say goodbye to 2025 and welcome 2026. In the joys and pains, the victories and failures, the straight paths and crooked ones God can be trusted. May you be encouraged as you reflect on what He has done in the past and look expectantly to what He will do in the future…. and together, we can have joy in the journey of this thing called “Life!”

Unfortunately, I was unable to embed this, but you can listen to the song on YouTube or Spotify.

Goodbye 2025… Hello 2026!!!

I happened upon a new song — released December 27th — that expresses a lot of what is on my heart these days…

Thank You, thank You Lord

Thank You for this year.

For every morning that I woke

for every breath, for every hope

for all the blessings I could see

and those you gave invisibly

for answered prayers and those still held

for stories written, stories yet to tell

for laughter shared and tears You dried

thank You, Lord, for this year’s ride.

Through the highs and through the lows

through the joys and through the woes

You were there in every way

so I lift my voice today…

Thank You for this year

for every moment, every tear…

for holding me close, so near…

for blessings seen and unseen…

for everything it’s been

for friends who walked beside me here

for family held both far and near

for open doors and lessons learned

for every bridge that You have burned

for strength when I had none to give

for grace that taught me how to live

for second chances, fresh new starts

thank You, Lord, with all my heart.

You’ve been so good to me this year

Your faithfulness so crystal clear

I can’t keep silent anymore

my gratitude is overflowing more…

For trials that became my strength

for waiting seasons, perfect length

for disappointments turned to gold

for stories only You could mold

for healings, breakthroughs, victories won

for battles fought, for races run

for quiet mercies every day

thank You, Lord, in every way.

How can I thank You enough?

For all You’ve done, for all Your love?

My words fall short but still I say

Thank You, Lord, thank You today.

For January’s hope

for December’s grace

for every month between

I’ve seen Your faithful face

for Spring’s new life, for Summer’s warmth

for Autumn’s change, for Winter’s calm

every season bore Your mark.

You’ve been faithful from the start…

Thank You for three hundred sixty-five

Thank You for keeping me alive

for every sunrise

for every sunset

for every moment

I won’t forget

Thank You for all You’ve done!

My heart is full!

My cup runs over

with thanksgiving…

Thank You for Your presence

Thank You for Your guidance

Thank You for Your mercy

Thank You for Your love.

As this year comes to a gentle close

I count the blessings, everyone I know

not because my life was perfect,

free from pain

but because through it all, You remained.

Thank You for this year

every high and low

…. for helping me to grow

Thank You for this year

and for the year to come…

— lyrics from “Thank You for This Year” by Elohim Songs

Yes, like the songwriter I have a lot to be thankful for as we say goodbye to 2025 and welcome 2026. In the joys and pains, the victories and failures, the straight paths and crooked ones God can be trusted. May you be encouraged as you reflect on what He has done in the past and look expectantly to what He will do in the future…. and together, we can have joy in the journey of this thing called “Life!”

Unfortunately, I was unable to embed this, but you can listen to the song on YouTube or Spotify.

The Big Purge…

Aarrrghhh… My LEAST favorite task when moving is going through the mountain of paperwork that “somehow” seems to accumulate. With only 31 days — YIKES!!! — until we hop on an airplane and leave this place that has been home for almost eleven years, I finally began tackling the dreaded project last week.

Yep. I confess. I’m both a procrastinator and a hoarder. Not a full-scale/all-out hoarder — just one who hangs on to receipts and travel itineraries and notes from phone calls and sentimental “stuff” and…. well, I think you get the picture!

My husband, on the other hand, is a minimalist. He’s the only person I know who has an EMPTY in-box on his computer. More than once, though, I’ve rescued him when he deleted an email he felt wasn’t important but had forwarded to me “just in case.”

Our first experience purging things was after we’d been married one year. We were moving from the Pacific Northwest to the East Coast of America in preparation for eventually moving overseas. We realized we couldn’t cart a lot of “stuff” around the world, and so agreed to get rid of things that both sets of parents had given us when we first got married — things that had taken up space in their homes up until our marriage, things like university textbooks, course notes, a drawing of “The Three Billy Goats Gruff” I’d done in third grade. I know. Pathetic, right?! One thing my husband PROMISED not to throw away was any correspondence between the two of us prior to getting married.

As we were throwing boxes of “stuff” into the landfill, three guesses what fluttered out of a box and into the air?!? A letter he had written me!!! Needless to say, I was not pleased… and he was in the doghouse for a while.

Now, all these years later, we have been doing the same thing: getting rid of “stuff” we no longer need. “Stuff” that literally would weigh us down — especially since we’re only taking four suitcases when we leave, and each can only weigh 23 kgs (50 lbs)!

Hmm… All this makes me think about other “stuff” in my life that may be weighing me down. “Stuff” that may hinder my ability to keep my focus on God. “Stuff” that robs my contentment and instead fuels anxious thoughts. “Stuff” that causes me to easily take offense and get irritable.

The writer of Hebrews in the New Testament of the Bible puts it this way:

… let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race that God has set before this. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith… chapter 12 verses 1-2

Besides all the papers I’m purging, I need to do some personal purging these days: stripping off any and everything that may be tripping me up. Dealing with wrong attitudes and perspectives. Not making mountains out of molehills. Dealing with any sin that the Holy Spirit convicts me of.

Oh, the joys of moving! Thankfully, a time of purging is good — not just for our physical well-being, but even more so for us spiritually. And the biggest benefit — it’s one way we can continue to have joy in the journey of this thing called “Life!”

Empty shoes…

They were the first thing I saw when we returned to my parents’ home from the hospital. Returned home from sitting vigil with my dad the final hours before his death. Returned home to an eerie emptiness that sucked the life out of me.

Daddy’s empty shoes.

I remember the surreal feeling in the hospital parking lot with my mom, brother, and sister. We had said our final goodbyes. Signed all the necessary papers. Zombie-like, we walked in silence to the car.

I remember feeling like the world as I had known it had ceased. There was a disconnect when seeing others laughing, smiling, continuing on with life as though nothing had happened. Nothing earth-shattering HAD happened in their worlds, but in mine… April 25th would never again be “just another day.” It would forever be the day my Daddy died.

That was over twenty years ago, and yet recently I’ve been grappling with similar emotions.

We’ve been counting down from 100 days until our departure from Thailand. Forty-two days until we leave this place that has been home for almost eleven years. Forty-two days before moving to our home country. Forty-two days until we are no longer “expats living abroad,” which has been part of our identity since 1979.

We’re in that surreal in-between time of disengaging from life here before re-engaging in another country, our “home” country. It’s strange to be with friends as they talk about plans for the upcoming Christmas season — realizing we won’t be here to go to the Christmas markets (always a great place to find unique, homemade gifts), watch the play a local theater group puts on each year, attend our church’s Christmas breakfast and service, take in a special holiday concert. It’s strange to realize we will no longer be a part of normal life here.

Yep. Life goes on.

Without us.

This is, of course, natural. OK. It happens! But just like my dad’s death, the finality associated with any kind of change means loss. And loss necessitates that it be acknowledged. And grieved.

I’ve been spending quite a bit of time lately reading and meditating on Psalm 121. Six times in this short psalm the word “keeps/keeper” is used:

… He who keeps you will not slumber.

…. He who keeps Israel with neither slumber nor sleep.

… The Lord is your keeper…

… The Lord will keep you from all evil;

… He will keep your life.

… The Lord will keep your going out and your coming in from this time forth and forevermore.

When something is repeated frequently it makes me wonder why. What’s the significance of the word “keeper/keeps”?

“Keep,” in this context, comes from the Hebrew “shamar.” It has the idea of guarding, watching over, attending to carefully.

What an encouragement to me at this stage of our journey to be reminded that my God is guarding me, watching over me, attending carefully to me. He never gets tired. He never sleeps. He’s ever attentive and wants to protect me. He knows my comings and goings — both here and elsewhere. He is with me in ALL of the uncertainties, the changes, the challenges I face.

As I’ve been doing the “100-day countdown,” I’ve been listing things I’m going to miss living here in the tropics and things I’m looking forward to as we move to our home country (see blog post below where I first shared this idea). What’s been happening lately is that several things in the “miss” column have had their flip-side in the “looking forward to” column. For example, missing routine is paired with looking forward to reestablishing routine; missing familiarity with looking forward to eventually having things be familiar again — with an emphasis on the word eventually!

In the midst of change and the disconnect we’re now experiencing, I’m grateful that my husband and I are focusing on and clinging to the One who is the keeper of our souls. Some days my husband does better than I… other days I’m reminding him… but together we’re choosing to have joy in the journey of this thing called “Life!” A journey that has ups and downs, to be sure. But a journey in which God will continue to guard, watch over, and attend carefully to our steps.

It’s time to build a R.A.F.T.

Storms of life…

photo credit: Ashley Haack Fine Art

I LOVE the sea! Having grown up near the ocean and having spent countless hours swimming, sailing, water skiing, and walking on the beach, being on or near water truly is my happy place. There’s something about watching the never-ending cycle of waves crashing onto the beach — or even when the sea is merely gently caressing the shore — that calms me. Restores me. Nourishes my soul. Reminds me that my Creator God is likewise constant, consistent, dependable, steady.

But sometimes the sea can be frightening. Overpowering. An adversary to be subdued rather than an ally to be enjoyed. Watching a storm from the safety of the shore is vastly different from being in the midst of the angry waves, tossed to and fro at the mercy of nature. Add to that being pelted by rain or sleet or snow. Lightning flashing. Darkness that engulfs and disorients. Feeling like there is no escaping destruction and loss of life.

There’s a story in the New Testament of the Bible about a sea voyage that took place in the first century. It was a journey that started in Caesarea (on the eastern-most shore of the Mediterranean Sea) and eventually ended in Rome (complete opposite direction).

map of Paul’s Journey to Rome from Olive Tree Bible App

The journey was a challenging one from the start. It started late in the season for sea travel. The initial small vessel wasn’t adequate for the open-sea voyage. Stormy winds blew them off course before they had gotten halfway. The wind was “tempestuous,” which is how we refer to a northeaster in today’s parlance. Such storms appear suddenly, often with violent, whirling winds. They had to stop and take shelter several times.

An additional problem was that the vessel was transporting a man named Paul. He was a God-fearing man who was on his way to Rome to stand trial before Caesar. Paul had warned the captain and crew that the journey would more than likely result in the loss of the ship, cargo, and lives. His warning went unheeded.

They went without food for fourteen days. They had to jettison the cargo. Then they had to get rid of the ship’s tackle. Some of the crew panicked and wanted to escape using the ship’s dingy. BUT Paul warned that doing so would put everyone in jeopardy.

Soon afterwards the vessel ran aground and the stern broke apart in the surf. None of the 276 men on board were lost… but the journey wasn’t over yet! They were only as far as the island of Malta.

… the rest of the story is for another time…

Paul had an unshakeable belief that IF those on the ship did what he suggested all would go well.

… the God to whom I belong and worship…said,
“Do not be afraid, Paul;
you must stand before Caesar.
And… you and all who sail with you [will be safe.]”

So take heart, men,
for I have faith in God
that it will be exactly as I have been told.
But we must run aground on some island.

Acts 27: 23-26

Note that he didn’t say that it would be smooth sailing. But rather in the midst of the storm, all would be well.

Sometimes life feels like being in a storm. We start our journey well… and then “stuff” happens that blows us off course. We lose our bearings. We feel as though we’re being pummeled from all sides with the relentless intensity of circumstances out of our control. Hopelessness and fear engulf us. In our panic, we jettison those things that normally would help keep us upright.

I am not afraid of storms
for I am learning how to sail my ship.

Louisa May Alcott, from her book “Little Women”

From my perspective, it seems that sometimes being “blown off course” is actually more of a detour, a way God uses to get me where He wants me — in HIS timing, not mine. Wanting to jump ship, to try to figure things out and manipulate the results usually is counter-productive. In all honesty, I can feel overwhelmed. Abandoned. Fearful. Hopeless. But the more I get to know God, the more I realize that He is a loving Father who is with me in the midst of the storms, never abandoning me. Never wishing me harm. Wanting me to trust that HE is in control. He has His hand on the rudder and will guide me safely to port.

I’m learning to not be afraid of life’s storms. I’m learning how to sail my ship. I’m learning that wherever my ship goes — by whatever circuitous route, in whatever time frame — I’m not alone.

And may that become true for you as well, dear reader, so that together we may have joy in the journey of this thing called “Life!”

to read more about this sea voyage, see Acts 27:1 – 28:14

Note to my 20-something self…

photo credit: http://www.marketplace.com

We’ve begun the season of “lasts”… tonight being our last Zoom call with colleagues — some of whom we have known for decades. We’ve been asked to share our answer to the following question:

If you could leave a Post-it note of encouragement or advice taped to the suitcase of someone just arriving overseas, what would it say?

Hmm… GREAT question! One that took me back to when my husband and I were in our late 20’s preparing for our overseas adventure. We were excited! Scared! A bit naive — to put it mildly! And yet somehow confident that this HUGE step of faith was exactly the one God had in store for us. We had been married not quite three years, and so the adjustments awaiting us were more than we could’ve ever imagined.

So… what would I share with my 20-something self???

Give yourself — and others — GRACE and SPACE.

GRACE… because you WILL make mistakes. You WILL fail. You WILL be disappointed — in yourself and others. You WILL say and do things that you’d never imagine yourself saying or doing! (remember my stolen milk bottle story?! see below) God will undoubtedly reveal parts of your character that need pruning… pruning so that other, possibly hidden, parts may come to the surface and be nurtured. Pruning of “stuff” that clouds and distorts His image being accurately revealed in your life.

SPACE… to regroup. To think. To process. To re-charge. To unplug from everything that is vying for your attention. To regain perspective. Emotional stuff drains and blindsides us. KNOW that this happens… and so give yourself grace and space to embrace what’s going on and respond accordingly.

Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In ALL your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3: 5-6

“Do not lean on your own understanding”… don’t try to figure everything out!

“In ALL your ways acknowledge Him/seek His will and His ways”… After all, God is God! HE is in control — not you! Make getting to know Him better your number one priority.

Yeah, I know. This will never fit on a Post-it! But it’s what I would say to someone beginning their overseas adventure. And it’s how they — and we — can have joy in the journey of this thing called “Life!”

Me?!? …. A thief?!?

… neither listened… nor…???

The phrase jumped off the page as I was reading.

“They neither listened nor obeyed.”

It was in reference to the Israelites back in the 8th century BC. The nation had split in two several hundred years earlier. Both the northern and the southern kingdoms were governed by a series of kings, most of whom were jerks. Over and over again God gave them wake up calls to try to get their attention. To try to get them to listen to Him and to keep their part of the bargain (a covenant) they had made with God. They openly defied the clear instructions He had given them, which would’ve ensured that they lived peacefully and productively in the new land they were inhabiting. They were stubborn, defiant, willful. They dishonored and disregarded everything that God had made holy.

Finally, enough was enough!

And so God sent Shalmaneser, the King of Assyria, to carry the northern kingdom into exile. Why?

“... because they did not obey the voice of the Lord their God… they neither listened nor obeyed.”

2 Kings 18:12

It’s bad enough not to obey God… to do what He has told you to do. But to not even listen… that inhibits any awareness of learning what’s on His heart, of even wanting to do so. It cuts off any chance of clearing up misunderstandings. Of being open to considering the possibility that I may be wrong. That my perspective/assessment of a situation is skewed. Of acknowledging wrongs and being forgiven.

I do it, though. Unfortunately. I have “selective listening” — choosing what I want to hear and blocking out the rest. And this doesn’t only refer to God, but also to other people — like my husband! He admits that he is also guilty of “selective hearing” and shares how, early in our marriage, he would sometimes feign listening to me while sneaking peeks at a chess magazine in his lap. Needless to say, that didn’t go over very well! And working on our communication skills has been an on-going theme in our marriage.

Sometimes I don’t hear well because my ears are literally blocked. Sounds become muffled due to a build-up of earwax. Getting rid of stubbornly embedded wax requires the intervention of a skillful physician. And it can be painful.

God is that skillful physician in my life. Rooting out whatever is blocking my ability to hear Him. Applying pressure when necessary. Rinsing, so to speak, with warm water, flushing out whatever tenaciously clings to me.

It’s a poor commentary on the Israelites when they are labeled as “neither listening nor obeying.” And it’s a poor commentary on me as well.

Lord, open my ears that I may hear Your voice — all of what You say and not what I pick and choose. And enable me to obey — wholeheartedly. Unreservedly. Without questions asked. I dishonor You when I pick and choose my way through life. Forgive me. So many voices are vying for my attention these days. Help me to intentionally block them out so that I hear Your voice above all others.

And that, my friends, will help me — and hopefully you — to have joy in the journey of this thing called “Life”!

One-way ticket…

photo credit: author

The first time I bought a one-way ticket was eleven years ago. My mother had been battling cancer and was now beginning home hospice care. I bought my ticket not knowing if it would be days, weeks, or months … only knowing I wanted to be there with my siblings to help care for her. A little over five weeks later we said our final goodbyes.

The second time was a few weeks ago when I booked tickets to our home country.

Both times, booking one-way tickets announced a finality that was — and is — hard to grasp. Both underscored that saying goodbye to people, to relationships forged over a lifetime or even those newly made is fraught with a myriad of conflicting emotions. Both accentuated the end of an era. Both were inevitable.

Booking those tickets a few weeks ago was yet another reminder that change is in the wind. That a LOT of unknowns await us. And yet at the same time, God keeps giving little glimpses into how He is going to guide and provide. Glimpses that greatly encourage my heart!

Yeah. I have my ups and downs. Good days and bad. Days when I feel overwhelmed, stuck. Days when I’m critical of everything and everyone — including myself. Days when I’m so tired I can’t think straight.

But also days when I’m refreshed by spending time with friends. Days when the beauty of this place and my morning serenade by tropical birds nurtures my soul. Days when God’s Word hits home in a way that helps me regain perspective.

Journaling has been a lifeline for me since my university days. It helps me think, process what I’m going through as I try to capture in words what’s happening in my soul. It helps me understand myself better, as well as helps point me to the things I know are true, things I need to cling to. It has become increasingly important during this in-between time of transition.

We will be moving to a new country.

Not “back home.”

To a place that has a familiar feel
– that is filled with memories of bygone days
– that is peopled by folks related by blood
and by life experiences.

And so we will go as learners
– observing thru the lens of first-time vistors
– recognizing that we will undoubtedly
make mistakes as we
navigate cultural changes
– needing to embrace the awkwardness
that comes when others
don’t know how to relate to us —
and vice versa
– finding our voice, our new identity —
while simultaneously striving
to remember what GOD says
about who we are is what is most important.

A learner is
– eager
– unafraid
– has no pre-conceived ideas —
or, more accurately,
is willing to lay them aside
– sees a gap in one’s knowledge
and is intentional in accurately filling that gap
– willing to admit mistakes,
especially where unchallenged/former
ideas or perceptions are concerned
– hopeful!
– childlike in faith
to embrace unknowns
– not trying to prove anything
– someone with a freshness that is contagious,
that inspires others
– not in competition with anyone
– one who infuses worth and
value and
respect in others.

A change in perspective.
A change in focus.
But a necessary one.
Thank you, Lord!

from my journal, June 23rd

I’m not sure where we were flying from (or maybe to??) when I took the above photo, but it symbolizes hope for me. Billowy clouds cover the land — and yet all that is hidden under their cover becomes clear, visible, alive once the plane begins its descent. A rising sun peeks above the horizon announcing the start of a new day.

We’re flying above the clouds now, metaphorically, as we prepare to move to our home country later this year. What’s under the clouds is known — even though we can’t see it right now. A new day is dawning for us, which signals an exciting new chapter.

A new chapter. New beginnings. A reminder that we can continue to have joy in the journey of this thing called “Life!” no matter where we may land!

What’s robbing YOUR joy???

Dread. Sadness. Despair. Feeling overwhelmed. Feeling stuck. Paralyzed.

Not a pretty picture. But a window into my soul these past days.

In a sense, it’s inevitable. To be expected. As we prepare to move back to our home country later this year, there is “stuff” we have to face. Have to work through. Add to that everything that is happening in our world these days… the overall picture isn’t very encouraging. Actually, it’s rather depressing and bleak.

And yet I’ve fallen into a dangerous trap. A trap that is robbing me of joy. Robbing me of savoring each day as the gift it’s intended to be. Robbing me of my focus. My perspective.

What I’ve subtly slipped into is focusing on

  • all my to-do lists.
  • the unknowns awaiting us.
  • deadlines.
  • expectations — mine and those of others (which often are unfounded).
  • listening to voices — real and imagined — that make me question myself. Make me question God.
  • digging up past mistakes.
  • rehearsing failures, which means not remembering victories, good things that happened.
  • what social media and the news has to say, which is a sure-fire way to get depressed!

I was sharing this malaise with my husband the other day, and he said something profound:

“God more fully understands our feelings than we do…. We need to be self-sympathetic instead of self-accusing… Despair over past mistakes is what Screwtape has on his clipboard for you, Mary.” [referencing C.S. Lewis’ book “The Screwtape Letters” that portrays Satan’s schemes to derail God’s people]

God more fully understands our feelings than we do

When the cares of my heart are many/when my anxious thoughts multiply within me/when doubts fill my mind/when I am upset and beside myself, Your [God’s] consolations/Your comforts cheer my soul/delight me/give me needed hope and cheer/calm me down and cheer me up.

Psalm 94:19 compiled from various versions

Hmm… this made me wonder… what do God’s consolations look like? How can they cheer my soul?

Reading Psalm 94 in its entirety gives some hints:

  • verses 9-11 remind us that God knows what’s going on! (“He who planted the ear, does He not hear? He who formed the eye, does He not see?”)
  • verses 17-18 remind us that God has shown His support of us already! (“If the Lord had not been my help, my soul would soon have lived in the land of silence. When I thought, ‘My foot slips,’ Your steadfast love, O Lord, held me up”)
  • verse 22 reminds us that God has already become our stronghold, the rock of our refuge.
  • verse 23 reminds us that someday He WILL surely judge all the injustices and wrongs in our world, in our lives.

As I ponder and focus on God’s character, the cares of my heart are reframed. In other words, what can seem overwhelming or a big deal shrinks when seen from God’s perspective. He alone sees ALL of my life. ALL of my days. My unknown (to me) future. My fears. My desires.

Yes, there are things that rob my joy — at least attempt to do so. And yet I’m endeavoring to be intentional in looking for the “consolations of God” to see how He may be working on my behalf to cheer my soul. To delight me. To give me much needed hope. To calm me.

I’ve written in my agenda — with large letters — “I choose JOY!” A visible reminder that every day, as I start each day — and numerous times throughout — I need to do whatever it takes to focus on things that won’t drag me down and rob my joy. I need to carefully choose what I listen to, what I watch, what I read. I need to limit (eliminate?) my exposure to social media and news. I need to be sensitive to others, to reach out to others — because that helps me to get my focus off me, myself, and I!

We’ll still be doing a lot of processing, a lot of grieving as we leave this place that has been home for over a decade. And disengaging here and preparing to reengage elsewhere will be fraught with a myriad of emotions… BUT…

God more fully understands our feelings than we do

… and focusing on what He says is true will be how we navigate this next season, enabling us to not get sidetracked by feelings of dread, sadness, despair; acknowledging that there will be times of feeling overwhelmed, but choosing to not dwell there; doing things that are emotionally-recharging when that stuck, paralyzed feeling kicks in. However imperfectly we do this — with some days being successful, somedays not — it will be how we’ll have joy in the journey of this thing called “Life!”