Tag: faith

The Big Purge…

Aarrrghhh… My LEAST favorite task when moving is going through the mountain of paperwork that “somehow” seems to accumulate. With only 31 days — YIKES!!! — until we hop on an airplane and leave this place that has been home for almost eleven years, I finally began tackling the dreaded project last week.

Yep. I confess. I’m both a procrastinator and a hoarder. Not a full-scale/all-out hoarder — just one who hangs on to receipts and travel itineraries and notes from phone calls and sentimental “stuff” and…. well, I think you get the picture!

My husband, on the other hand, is a minimalist. He’s the only person I know who has an EMPTY in-box on his computer. More than once, though, I’ve rescued him when he deleted an email he felt wasn’t important but had forwarded to me “just in case.”

Our first experience purging things was after we’d been married one year. We were moving from the Pacific Northwest to the East Coast of America in preparation for eventually moving overseas. We realized we couldn’t cart a lot of “stuff” around the world, and so agreed to get rid of things that both sets of parents had given us when we first got married — things that had taken up space in their homes up until our marriage, things like university textbooks, course notes, a drawing of “The Three Billy Goats Gruff” I’d done in third grade. I know. Pathetic, right?! One thing my husband PROMISED not to throw away was any correspondence between the two of us prior to getting married.

As we were throwing boxes of “stuff” into the landfill, three guesses what fluttered out of a box and into the air?!? A letter he had written me!!! Needless to say, I was not pleased… and he was in the doghouse for a while.

Now, all these years later, we have been doing the same thing: getting rid of “stuff” we no longer need. “Stuff” that literally would weigh us down — especially since we’re only taking four suitcases when we leave, and each can only weigh 23 kgs (50 lbs)!

Hmm… All this makes me think about other “stuff” in my life that may be weighing me down. “Stuff” that may hinder my ability to keep my focus on God. “Stuff” that robs my contentment and instead fuels anxious thoughts. “Stuff” that causes me to easily take offense and get irritable.

The writer of Hebrews in the New Testament of the Bible puts it this way:

… let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race that God has set before this. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith… chapter 12 verses 1-2

Besides all the papers I’m purging, I need to do some personal purging these days: stripping off any and everything that may be tripping me up. Dealing with wrong attitudes and perspectives. Not making mountains out of molehills. Dealing with any sin that the Holy Spirit convicts me of.

Oh, the joys of moving! Thankfully, a time of purging is good — not just for our physical well-being, but even more so for us spiritually. And the biggest benefit — it’s one way we can continue to have joy in the journey of this thing called “Life!”

Empty shoes…

They were the first thing I saw when we returned to my parents’ home from the hospital. Returned home from sitting vigil with my dad the final hours before his death. Returned home to an eerie emptiness that sucked the life out of me.

Daddy’s empty shoes.

I remember the surreal feeling in the hospital parking lot with my mom, brother, and sister. We had said our final goodbyes. Signed all the necessary papers. Zombie-like, we walked in silence to the car.

I remember feeling like the world as I had known it had ceased. There was a disconnect when seeing others laughing, smiling, continuing on with life as though nothing had happened. Nothing earth-shattering HAD happened in their worlds, but in mine… April 25th would never again be “just another day.” It would forever be the day my Daddy died.

That was over twenty years ago, and yet recently I’ve been grappling with similar emotions.

We’ve been counting down from 100 days until our departure from Thailand. Forty-two days until we leave this place that has been home for almost eleven years. Forty-two days before moving to our home country. Forty-two days until we are no longer “expats living abroad,” which has been part of our identity since 1979.

We’re in that surreal in-between time of disengaging from life here before re-engaging in another country, our “home” country. It’s strange to be with friends as they talk about plans for the upcoming Christmas season — realizing we won’t be here to go to the Christmas markets (always a great place to find unique, homemade gifts), watch the play a local theater group puts on each year, attend our church’s Christmas breakfast and service, take in a special holiday concert. It’s strange to realize we will no longer be a part of normal life here.

Yep. Life goes on.

Without us.

This is, of course, natural. OK. It happens! But just like my dad’s death, the finality associated with any kind of change means loss. And loss necessitates that it be acknowledged. And grieved.

I’ve been spending quite a bit of time lately reading and meditating on Psalm 121. Six times in this short psalm the word “keeps/keeper” is used:

… He who keeps you will not slumber.

…. He who keeps Israel with neither slumber nor sleep.

… The Lord is your keeper…

… The Lord will keep you from all evil;

… He will keep your life.

… The Lord will keep your going out and your coming in from this time forth and forevermore.

When something is repeated frequently it makes me wonder why. What’s the significance of the word “keeper/keeps”?

“Keep,” in this context, comes from the Hebrew “shamar.” It has the idea of guarding, watching over, attending to carefully.

What an encouragement to me at this stage of our journey to be reminded that my God is guarding me, watching over me, attending carefully to me. He never gets tired. He never sleeps. He’s ever attentive and wants to protect me. He knows my comings and goings — both here and elsewhere. He is with me in ALL of the uncertainties, the changes, the challenges I face.

As I’ve been doing the “100-day countdown,” I’ve been listing things I’m going to miss living here in the tropics and things I’m looking forward to as we move to our home country (see blog post below where I first shared this idea). What’s been happening lately is that several things in the “miss” column have had their flip-side in the “looking forward to” column. For example, missing routine is paired with looking forward to reestablishing routine; missing familiarity with looking forward to eventually having things be familiar again — with an emphasis on the word eventually!

In the midst of change and the disconnect we’re now experiencing, I’m grateful that my husband and I are focusing on and clinging to the One who is the keeper of our souls. Some days my husband does better than I… other days I’m reminding him… but together we’re choosing to have joy in the journey of this thing called “Life!” A journey that has ups and downs, to be sure. But a journey in which God will continue to guard, watch over, and attend carefully to our steps.

It’s time to build a R.A.F.T.

Storms of life…

photo credit: Ashley Haack Fine Art

I LOVE the sea! Having grown up near the ocean and having spent countless hours swimming, sailing, water skiing, and walking on the beach, being on or near water truly is my happy place. There’s something about watching the never-ending cycle of waves crashing onto the beach — or even when the sea is merely gently caressing the shore — that calms me. Restores me. Nourishes my soul. Reminds me that my Creator God is likewise constant, consistent, dependable, steady.

But sometimes the sea can be frightening. Overpowering. An adversary to be subdued rather than an ally to be enjoyed. Watching a storm from the safety of the shore is vastly different from being in the midst of the angry waves, tossed to and fro at the mercy of nature. Add to that being pelted by rain or sleet or snow. Lightning flashing. Darkness that engulfs and disorients. Feeling like there is no escaping destruction and loss of life.

There’s a story in the New Testament of the Bible about a sea voyage that took place in the first century. It was a journey that started in Caesarea (on the eastern-most shore of the Mediterranean Sea) and eventually ended in Rome (complete opposite direction).

map of Paul’s Journey to Rome from Olive Tree Bible App

The journey was a challenging one from the start. It started late in the season for sea travel. The initial small vessel wasn’t adequate for the open-sea voyage. Stormy winds blew them off course before they had gotten halfway. The wind was “tempestuous,” which is how we refer to a northeaster in today’s parlance. Such storms appear suddenly, often with violent, whirling winds. They had to stop and take shelter several times.

An additional problem was that the vessel was transporting a man named Paul. He was a God-fearing man who was on his way to Rome to stand trial before Caesar. Paul had warned the captain and crew that the journey would more than likely result in the loss of the ship, cargo, and lives. His warning went unheeded.

They went without food for fourteen days. They had to jettison the cargo. Then they had to get rid of the ship’s tackle. Some of the crew panicked and wanted to escape using the ship’s dingy. BUT Paul warned that doing so would put everyone in jeopardy.

Soon afterwards the vessel ran aground and the stern broke apart in the surf. None of the 276 men on board were lost… but the journey wasn’t over yet! They were only as far as the island of Malta.

… the rest of the story is for another time…

Paul had an unshakeable belief that IF those on the ship did what he suggested all would go well.

… the God to whom I belong and worship…said,
“Do not be afraid, Paul;
you must stand before Caesar.
And… you and all who sail with you [will be safe.]”

So take heart, men,
for I have faith in God
that it will be exactly as I have been told.
But we must run aground on some island.

Acts 27: 23-26

Note that he didn’t say that it would be smooth sailing. But rather in the midst of the storm, all would be well.

Sometimes life feels like being in a storm. We start our journey well… and then “stuff” happens that blows us off course. We lose our bearings. We feel as though we’re being pummeled from all sides with the relentless intensity of circumstances out of our control. Hopelessness and fear engulf us. In our panic, we jettison those things that normally would help keep us upright.

I am not afraid of storms
for I am learning how to sail my ship.

Louisa May Alcott, from her book “Little Women”

From my perspective, it seems that sometimes being “blown off course” is actually more of a detour, a way God uses to get me where He wants me — in HIS timing, not mine. Wanting to jump ship, to try to figure things out and manipulate the results usually is counter-productive. In all honesty, I can feel overwhelmed. Abandoned. Fearful. Hopeless. But the more I get to know God, the more I realize that He is a loving Father who is with me in the midst of the storms, never abandoning me. Never wishing me harm. Wanting me to trust that HE is in control. He has His hand on the rudder and will guide me safely to port.

I’m learning to not be afraid of life’s storms. I’m learning how to sail my ship. I’m learning that wherever my ship goes — by whatever circuitous route, in whatever time frame — I’m not alone.

And may that become true for you as well, dear reader, so that together we may have joy in the journey of this thing called “Life!”

to read more about this sea voyage, see Acts 27:1 – 28:14

Note to my 20-something self…

photo credit: http://www.marketplace.com

We’ve begun the season of “lasts”… tonight being our last Zoom call with colleagues — some of whom we have known for decades. We’ve been asked to share our answer to the following question:

If you could leave a Post-it note of encouragement or advice taped to the suitcase of someone just arriving overseas, what would it say?

Hmm… GREAT question! One that took me back to when my husband and I were in our late 20’s preparing for our overseas adventure. We were excited! Scared! A bit naive — to put it mildly! And yet somehow confident that this HUGE step of faith was exactly the one God had in store for us. We had been married not quite three years, and so the adjustments awaiting us were more than we could’ve ever imagined.

So… what would I share with my 20-something self???

Give yourself — and others — GRACE and SPACE.

GRACE… because you WILL make mistakes. You WILL fail. You WILL be disappointed — in yourself and others. You WILL say and do things that you’d never imagine yourself saying or doing! (remember my stolen milk bottle story?! see below) God will undoubtedly reveal parts of your character that need pruning… pruning so that other, possibly hidden, parts may come to the surface and be nurtured. Pruning of “stuff” that clouds and distorts His image being accurately revealed in your life.

SPACE… to regroup. To think. To process. To re-charge. To unplug from everything that is vying for your attention. To regain perspective. Emotional stuff drains and blindsides us. KNOW that this happens… and so give yourself grace and space to embrace what’s going on and respond accordingly.

Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In ALL your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3: 5-6

“Do not lean on your own understanding”… don’t try to figure everything out!

“In ALL your ways acknowledge Him/seek His will and His ways”… After all, God is God! HE is in control — not you! Make getting to know Him better your number one priority.

Yeah, I know. This will never fit on a Post-it! But it’s what I would say to someone beginning their overseas adventure. And it’s how they — and we — can have joy in the journey of this thing called “Life!”

Me?!? …. A thief?!?

… neither listened… nor…???

The phrase jumped off the page as I was reading.

“They neither listened nor obeyed.”

It was in reference to the Israelites back in the 8th century BC. The nation had split in two several hundred years earlier. Both the northern and the southern kingdoms were governed by a series of kings, most of whom were jerks. Over and over again God gave them wake up calls to try to get their attention. To try to get them to listen to Him and to keep their part of the bargain (a covenant) they had made with God. They openly defied the clear instructions He had given them, which would’ve ensured that they lived peacefully and productively in the new land they were inhabiting. They were stubborn, defiant, willful. They dishonored and disregarded everything that God had made holy.

Finally, enough was enough!

And so God sent Shalmaneser, the King of Assyria, to carry the northern kingdom into exile. Why?

“... because they did not obey the voice of the Lord their God… they neither listened nor obeyed.”

2 Kings 18:12

It’s bad enough not to obey God… to do what He has told you to do. But to not even listen… that inhibits any awareness of learning what’s on His heart, of even wanting to do so. It cuts off any chance of clearing up misunderstandings. Of being open to considering the possibility that I may be wrong. That my perspective/assessment of a situation is skewed. Of acknowledging wrongs and being forgiven.

I do it, though. Unfortunately. I have “selective listening” — choosing what I want to hear and blocking out the rest. And this doesn’t only refer to God, but also to other people — like my husband! He admits that he is also guilty of “selective hearing” and shares how, early in our marriage, he would sometimes feign listening to me while sneaking peeks at a chess magazine in his lap. Needless to say, that didn’t go over very well! And working on our communication skills has been an on-going theme in our marriage.

Sometimes I don’t hear well because my ears are literally blocked. Sounds become muffled due to a build-up of earwax. Getting rid of stubbornly embedded wax requires the intervention of a skillful physician. And it can be painful.

God is that skillful physician in my life. Rooting out whatever is blocking my ability to hear Him. Applying pressure when necessary. Rinsing, so to speak, with warm water, flushing out whatever tenaciously clings to me.

It’s a poor commentary on the Israelites when they are labeled as “neither listening nor obeying.” And it’s a poor commentary on me as well.

Lord, open my ears that I may hear Your voice — all of what You say and not what I pick and choose. And enable me to obey — wholeheartedly. Unreservedly. Without questions asked. I dishonor You when I pick and choose my way through life. Forgive me. So many voices are vying for my attention these days. Help me to intentionally block them out so that I hear Your voice above all others.

And that, my friends, will help me — and hopefully you — to have joy in the journey of this thing called “Life”!

One-way ticket…

photo credit: author

The first time I bought a one-way ticket was eleven years ago. My mother had been battling cancer and was now beginning home hospice care. I bought my ticket not knowing if it would be days, weeks, or months … only knowing I wanted to be there with my siblings to help care for her. A little over five weeks later we said our final goodbyes.

The second time was a few weeks ago when I booked tickets to our home country.

Both times, booking one-way tickets announced a finality that was — and is — hard to grasp. Both underscored that saying goodbye to people, to relationships forged over a lifetime or even those newly made is fraught with a myriad of conflicting emotions. Both accentuated the end of an era. Both were inevitable.

Booking those tickets a few weeks ago was yet another reminder that change is in the wind. That a LOT of unknowns await us. And yet at the same time, God keeps giving little glimpses into how He is going to guide and provide. Glimpses that greatly encourage my heart!

Yeah. I have my ups and downs. Good days and bad. Days when I feel overwhelmed, stuck. Days when I’m critical of everything and everyone — including myself. Days when I’m so tired I can’t think straight.

But also days when I’m refreshed by spending time with friends. Days when the beauty of this place and my morning serenade by tropical birds nurtures my soul. Days when God’s Word hits home in a way that helps me regain perspective.

Journaling has been a lifeline for me since my university days. It helps me think, process what I’m going through as I try to capture in words what’s happening in my soul. It helps me understand myself better, as well as helps point me to the things I know are true, things I need to cling to. It has become increasingly important during this in-between time of transition.

We will be moving to a new country.

Not “back home.”

To a place that has a familiar feel
– that is filled with memories of bygone days
– that is peopled by folks related by blood
and by life experiences.

And so we will go as learners
– observing thru the lens of first-time vistors
– recognizing that we will undoubtedly
make mistakes as we
navigate cultural changes
– needing to embrace the awkwardness
that comes when others
don’t know how to relate to us —
and vice versa
– finding our voice, our new identity —
while simultaneously striving
to remember what GOD says
about who we are is what is most important.

A learner is
– eager
– unafraid
– has no pre-conceived ideas —
or, more accurately,
is willing to lay them aside
– sees a gap in one’s knowledge
and is intentional in accurately filling that gap
– willing to admit mistakes,
especially where unchallenged/former
ideas or perceptions are concerned
– hopeful!
– childlike in faith
to embrace unknowns
– not trying to prove anything
– someone with a freshness that is contagious,
that inspires others
– not in competition with anyone
– one who infuses worth and
value and
respect in others.

A change in perspective.
A change in focus.
But a necessary one.
Thank you, Lord!

from my journal, June 23rd

I’m not sure where we were flying from (or maybe to??) when I took the above photo, but it symbolizes hope for me. Billowy clouds cover the land — and yet all that is hidden under their cover becomes clear, visible, alive once the plane begins its descent. A rising sun peeks above the horizon announcing the start of a new day.

We’re flying above the clouds now, metaphorically, as we prepare to move to our home country later this year. What’s under the clouds is known — even though we can’t see it right now. A new day is dawning for us, which signals an exciting new chapter.

A new chapter. New beginnings. A reminder that we can continue to have joy in the journey of this thing called “Life!” no matter where we may land!

What’s robbing YOUR joy???

Dread. Sadness. Despair. Feeling overwhelmed. Feeling stuck. Paralyzed.

Not a pretty picture. But a window into my soul these past days.

In a sense, it’s inevitable. To be expected. As we prepare to move back to our home country later this year, there is “stuff” we have to face. Have to work through. Add to that everything that is happening in our world these days… the overall picture isn’t very encouraging. Actually, it’s rather depressing and bleak.

And yet I’ve fallen into a dangerous trap. A trap that is robbing me of joy. Robbing me of savoring each day as the gift it’s intended to be. Robbing me of my focus. My perspective.

What I’ve subtly slipped into is focusing on

  • all my to-do lists.
  • the unknowns awaiting us.
  • deadlines.
  • expectations — mine and those of others (which often are unfounded).
  • listening to voices — real and imagined — that make me question myself. Make me question God.
  • digging up past mistakes.
  • rehearsing failures, which means not remembering victories, good things that happened.
  • what social media and the news has to say, which is a sure-fire way to get depressed!

I was sharing this malaise with my husband the other day, and he said something profound:

“God more fully understands our feelings than we do…. We need to be self-sympathetic instead of self-accusing… Despair over past mistakes is what Screwtape has on his clipboard for you, Mary.” [referencing C.S. Lewis’ book “The Screwtape Letters” that portrays Satan’s schemes to derail God’s people]

God more fully understands our feelings than we do

When the cares of my heart are many/when my anxious thoughts multiply within me/when doubts fill my mind/when I am upset and beside myself, Your [God’s] consolations/Your comforts cheer my soul/delight me/give me needed hope and cheer/calm me down and cheer me up.

Psalm 94:19 compiled from various versions

Hmm… this made me wonder… what do God’s consolations look like? How can they cheer my soul?

Reading Psalm 94 in its entirety gives some hints:

  • verses 9-11 remind us that God knows what’s going on! (“He who planted the ear, does He not hear? He who formed the eye, does He not see?”)
  • verses 17-18 remind us that God has shown His support of us already! (“If the Lord had not been my help, my soul would soon have lived in the land of silence. When I thought, ‘My foot slips,’ Your steadfast love, O Lord, held me up”)
  • verse 22 reminds us that God has already become our stronghold, the rock of our refuge.
  • verse 23 reminds us that someday He WILL surely judge all the injustices and wrongs in our world, in our lives.

As I ponder and focus on God’s character, the cares of my heart are reframed. In other words, what can seem overwhelming or a big deal shrinks when seen from God’s perspective. He alone sees ALL of my life. ALL of my days. My unknown (to me) future. My fears. My desires.

Yes, there are things that rob my joy — at least attempt to do so. And yet I’m endeavoring to be intentional in looking for the “consolations of God” to see how He may be working on my behalf to cheer my soul. To delight me. To give me much needed hope. To calm me.

I’ve written in my agenda — with large letters — “I choose JOY!” A visible reminder that every day, as I start each day — and numerous times throughout — I need to do whatever it takes to focus on things that won’t drag me down and rob my joy. I need to carefully choose what I listen to, what I watch, what I read. I need to limit (eliminate?) my exposure to social media and news. I need to be sensitive to others, to reach out to others — because that helps me to get my focus off me, myself, and I!

We’ll still be doing a lot of processing, a lot of grieving as we leave this place that has been home for over a decade. And disengaging here and preparing to reengage elsewhere will be fraught with a myriad of emotions… BUT…

God more fully understands our feelings than we do

… and focusing on what He says is true will be how we navigate this next season, enabling us to not get sidetracked by feelings of dread, sadness, despair; acknowledging that there will be times of feeling overwhelmed, but choosing to not dwell there; doing things that are emotionally-recharging when that stuck, paralyzed feeling kicks in. However imperfectly we do this — with some days being successful, somedays not — it will be how we’ll have joy in the journey of this thing called “Life!”

At sixes and sevens…

That’s the way today’s journal entry started…

Finding myself at sixes and sevens...

I got to thinking… what on earth does this expression actually mean?? How did it enter the English language?? I know how I was feeling… at odds with myself. Not sure what to do next. Not really in a funk… but… well, at sixes and sevens.

A little sleuthing, courtesy of Wikipedia, says at sixes and sevens is an English idiom used to describe a condition of confusion or disarray. It dates from the mid-1380s meaning “to hazard the world” or “to risk one’s life.”

Various states of confusion and risk are true of our household right now.

A few months ago I blogged about our “trifecta” (see link below). Several major decisions had converged upon our lives. One by one, clarity has come. One by one, decisions have been made. One by one, we’re moving ahead… into a new chapter of our lives.

That’s where confusion and risk fit in. My husband and I have made the decision to move back to our home country… after 46+ years of living abroad! We don’t have to learn another language, thankfully! But a LOT has changed — both in our home country and in our lives individually and as a couple — since we first moved overseas as almost newlyweds (we celebrated our third wedding anniversary a couple weeks after arriving in Europe a “few” years ago).

Uprooting and then resettling yet another time is filled with a myriad of decisions, emotions. Sometimes it’s overwhelming. Scary. Other times, exciting!

And then there’s a day like today… when I’m at sixes and sevens. After sharing our news with our families, we started spilling the beans to good friends. No one has been all that surprised — actually, they seem rather excited! But sharing this news face-to-face with someone yesterday and another friend today… well, the reality of this decision and all it entails keeps sinking in. Keeps becoming more and more real.

I’m already making mental lists of things I’ll miss living here in the tropics, like the daily serenade of birds I listen to each morning as I sit in my living room spending time with God. And mental lists of things I’m anxious about with our upcoming move, like WHERE will we end up living???

I’m feeling a bit like the Israelites that I’ve been blogging about lately. We’re on our own journey in the “wilderness” on our way to the “promised land.” The journey is fraught with detours, challenges, unknowns, potential misunderstandings.

Hmm… do you think God may have had me reading that portion of the Bible because He knew what was coming down the road for us?!? That there were lessons to be learned from the Israelites that would help me today?!? In the 21st century?!? I’m inclined to think YES!

Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened or afraid, and do not be dismayed [surprised, disillusioned, disappointed] for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9

… in quietness and in trust is your strength… Isaiah 30:15

These are some of the things I’m focusing on during these topsy-turvy days. Things that I know are true. Things that will help me keep my focus on God. Things that will enable me to trust HIS plans — even though they aren’t all crystal clear to us yet! I’m confident that by doing so, there will be joy in the journey of this thing called “Life!”

Decisions, decisions, decisions…

No expiration date?!?

The expiration date on the partially used bag of milk powder in my pantry was no longer visible. Gulp! Sometime during the last ten years (gulp again!) I had evidently deemed this a necessary purchase… and so put it in an airtight container to keep it fresh (ha! ha!)… and then obviously forgot about it. I only discovered the well-concealed bag this morning, much to my chagrin.

Expired. No longer able to be used. Worthless. Cast aside.

I came across an interesting, somewhat-concealed tidbit a few hours later. This time, I wasn’t in the kitchen but rather reading the Old Testament book of Numbers. The theme of the book is the gradual fulfillment of the promises to Abraham that his descendants would be the people of God and occupy the land of Canaan. 1 It begins with Israel preparing to leave the wilderness of Sinai, and then follows their journey — giving important instructions, but also recording where they messed up so that future generations could learn (hopefully!) from their mistakes. They, as a people, were called to represent God to the nations around them, which meant they needed to pay special attention to His instructions.

I’m still in the part of the story where this huge group of people (over 600,000 — and that’s only counting men from 20 years old and upward) is preparing to travel by foot from Egypt to the Promised Land (what we refer to today as Israel). They’ve already faced some obstacles, some detours… but what I found interesting this morning was regarding the Levites.

The Levites were descendants of the Hebrew tribe of Levi. They were given a very specific role: to assist the priests in worship and to transport all the “stuff” involved in setting up and breaking down a portable “Tent of Meeting” or “Tablernacle.” A LOT of details enumerate their duties — trust me! But what surprised me was that God even gave instructions regarding their retirement.

“… Levites from twenty-five years old and upward… shall enter to perform service in the work of the Tent of Meeting, but at the age of fifty years they shall retire from the service of the [Tabernacle] and serve no longer. They may assist their brothers in the Tent of Meeting by keeping guard, but they shall do no [heavy or difficult] work.” (Numbers 8:23-26)

They HAD to retire. At the age of 50!!!

But… that didn’t mean they were no longer able to be used. Worthless. Cast aside.

On the contrary! Instead of feeling like this was some sort of “putting out to pasture” mandate, it was actually communicating some important truths:

  • Transporting the Tabernacle, setting it up in a new location, breaking it down for the next move was back-breaking, heavy work. “Early retirement” meant that these men could graciously bow out from this physically demanding job and let the younger men flex THEIR muscles.
  • They still had an important role to play: that of keeping guard. Why was that so important? The Tabernacle was an opulent traveling “tent.” It housed precious objects — a lampstand made of pure gold, a table overlaid with gold, a special wooden chest also covered with gold, various other objects also from gold. The curtains, outer covering to protect it from the elements… everything was of the very best quality and workmanship. These needed protection.
  • The Levites also camped around the tabernacle so that “there may be no wrath on the congregation of the people of Israel.” God was very specific about who could and could not enter the Tabernacle. To do so unauthorized would mean instant death… and so the job of the over-50 crowd was vitally important to the well-being of the entire nation. They were not being marginalized by their new job-description… they were doing something worthwhile. Necessary. Valued.

Age is the great equalizer. We all eventually succumb to how it ravages our bodies as they begin to slow down and wear out. Our roles in life, in our society may change as we get older… but we never really retire!

Each season of life has its challenges, and with that our abilities and limitations may change. But we never are — like my milk powder — expired. No longer able to be used. Worthless. Cast aside.

No matter what season of life you find yourself in now — newly graduated, eager to continue with higher education or start a new job; recently married and figuring out how two lives can mesh with the least amount of conflict; starting your family or adjusting to an empty nest; preparing for retirement and the unknowns that accompany it — remember that you are ALWAYS able to be used! ALWAYS of great worth! NEVER cast aside!

May we also remember that God ALWAYS has something of value for us to do. We never retire — just change jobs. We may need to remind each other from time to time that we have no expiration date from God’s point of view! And as we do that, may we have joy in the journey of this thing called “Life!”

  1. ESV Bible Study Notes: Numbers ↩︎

EARTHQUAKE!!!

drawing credit: lizadonnelly.substack.com

I thought I was imagining it … I was sitting at my desk in our fifth floor apartment when I started sensing that my chair was moving. My husband, only a few feet away, didn’t notice anything. But then the rocking chair started swaying, as did the trees outside. The movement intensified, as did my fears. Later, we learned the earthquake only lasted a couple of minutes. Minutes that seemed to last forever.

I frantically tried to call our two kids to tell them how much I love them — in case we were goners. Yes, I was that scared! The call didn’t go through for who knows what reason — internet signals messed up? God’s intervention so that I didn’t freak out our kids?!

We then took the stairway down to the parking area where tenants from our twin eight-story buildings had gathered. One woman was crying. Others were huddled together. All of us in shock. Our good friends from Japan — “pros” living with earthquakes — encouraged and calmed us. Gave us helpful hints on what to do if this ever happens again.

When it was deemed safe to go back in the building, we took the stairs back to our apartment. At least we had remembered when exiting and returning to our home that it would be best to avoid the elevators!

We then discovered that the quake had literally shaken some things up in our apartment. Our dresser drawers had opened. The sliding glass door on our balcony now had a gap of several inches instead of being tightly closed. Our desks had slid apart. A few books had fallen over.

Overall, however, our city fared well — especially compared to those who lived near the 7.7 magnitude epicenter (we’re 525 miles/845 km away). Oh, how we grieve with those who have lost loved ones in this tragedy. Unimaginable sorrow.

The following day I wrote in my journal:

The reality of our own mortality —
when thrust upon us in such a vivid way —
is sobering.

Intellectually, I know that my death will usher me
into the presence of the Lord —
and what could be more wonderful than that?!?

I also know that life here on earth
is only a small blip on the timeline of eternity.

But yesterday —
standing in our living room
not knowing if the three floors above us
would soon snuff out my life —

I didn’t want to see Jesus then!
I didn’t feel ready!

from my journal Saturday, March 29th

God graciously spared us. But this sobering incident has made me ask myself some questions:

  • Am I ready to meet God??? Why was I so hesitant???
  • Am I keeping short accounts regarding any sin in my life — confessing anything that is short-circuiting my relationship with God? Forgiving others? Forgiving myself?
  • Are there any relational issues I’m not dealing with/avoiding? Misunderstandings that need to be cleared up? Words that need to be spoken?
  • What about family and friends who aren’t yet believers?

I’ve also been pondering some things God says:

God is our refuge and strength,
a very present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear
though the earth gives way,
though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea,
though its waters roar and foam,
though the mountains tremble at its swelling.
Psalm 46: 1-2

“Though the mountains be shaken
and the hills be removed,
yet My unfailing love for you
will NOT be shaken
nor My covenant of peace be removed,”
says the Lord,
who has compassion on you.
Isaiah 54: 10

Have no fear of sudden disaster…
for the Lord will be at your side…
Proverbs 3:25-26

“Sudden disasters” aren’t only acts of nature, like our recent earthquake. It can be a telephone call that brings devastating news. Or walking down the street in broad daylight and being mugged. Or returning from vacation and seeing that your home, all your earthly belongings have gone up in smoke — literally. Or having your job terminated from one day to the next. Or … the list goes on and on.

All of these “sudden disasters” shake us to the core of our being. Our stability is rattled — like having the rug pulled out from under our feet. Our confidence is flagging. Our hope often turns to despair. What we believe and what we’re experiencing collide — and make us question God.

Even though we have since been assured that our building was constructed according to a strict, earthquake-withstanding code, I recognize that I need to put my hope, my confidence in something, Someone greater. Something, Someone that will withstand the storms of life.

Anyone who listens to My teaching
and follows it is
wise,
like a person who builds a house on solid rock.
Though the rain comes in torrents
and the flood waters rise
and the winds beat against that house,
it won’t collapse
because it is built on bedrock.

But anyone who hears My teaching
and doesn’t obey it is
foolish,
like a person who builds a house on sand.
When the rains and floods come
and the winds beat against that house,
it will collapse
with a mighty crash.

Jesus speaking, Matthew 7:24-26

Yes, I was scared. Yes, we survived. And yes, as a Christ-follower I’m endeavoring to learn from this experience so that I’m better prepared to face whatever “sudden disasters” may come my way down the road.

My desire is to build upon and cling to the Rock, the One I call my Lord and Savior. May I encourage you to do the same… and together, no matter what surprises come our way in this life, we’ll have joy in the journey of this thing called “Life!”