Heart on paper…

One of the reasons I first started writing was to figure out what was going on inside my head… inside my heart. It somehow seemed to help when I “verbalized” whatever I was going through in black and white… with pen and paper.

One writing in particular still stands out in my memory. I remember when it was written. Where I was. What I was struggling with…

I was a freshman at university. It was a cold, dreary winter day. I had driven our family’s big, yellow station wagon over to “the Fort,” a local beach that to this day is my all-time favorite beach because of its pristine, uncluttered shoreline. I was trying to figure out who I was… what life is all about… how God fits into the picture, IF He does.

I vividly remember the way the sky looked. Threatening… yet at the same time, hopeful. Sun rays were peaking through the gloom. As if God were reaching down from heaven, reaching out His hands to me, wanting to pull me out of my despair and confusion.

Unfortunately, what I wrote that wintry day got lost over the years. But I still look back on that day as when I began to value putting my heart on paper.

Fast forward to today…

As I’ve been reading through the Old Testament of the Bible, I’m increasingly overwhelmed by seeing the heart of the authors on paper. I’m at that point in the story where the children of Israel are about to enter the Promised Land. They’ve been wandering in the wilderness for forty years (due to the disobedience of some of their leaders). They’ve been given directives as to how to best represent God to the people and nations they are preparing to conquer. They’ve been on a roller coaster of doing the right thing, blowing it, saying they’ll do better the next time… kinda sounds a lot like me!

Moses, their leader, is now 120 years old. He personally has been barred from entering the Promised Land because of losing his temper and not doing what God told him to do (see Numbers 20:12, Deuteronomy 3:23-28, and Psalm 106:32-33). In the book of Deuteronomy, Moses’ heart on paper jumps off nearly every page as he prepares the people for what lies ahead, reminding them of all that God has instructed. Reminding them of where they have come from and what is expected of them.

• Do not fear of be dismayed… (1:21)
• Do not be in dread or afraid of [the enemy]. The Lord your God who goes before you will Himself fight for you, just as He did for you in Egypt before your eyes, and in the wilderness, where you have seen how the Lord your God carried you, as a man carries his son… (1:29-31)
• … listen to the statutes and the rules that I am teaching you, and do them, that you may live, and go in and take possession of the land… (4:1)
• Only take care, and keep your soul diligently, lest you forget the things that your eyes have seen, and lest they depart from your heart… (4:9)
• … watch yourselves very carefully. (4:15)
• … beware lest you act corruptly… (4:16)
• … beware lest you raise your eyes to heaven, and when you see the sun and the moon and the stars, all the host of heaven, you be drawn away and bow down to them and serve them… (4:19)
• Take care, lest you forget the covenant of the Lord your God… (4:23)
• … be careful… to do as the Lord your God has commanded you. (5:32)
• … be careful to do [all God’s statutes and commands], that it may go well with you… (6:3)
• … remember what the Lord your God did to Pharaoh and to all Egypt, the great trials that your eyes saw, the signs, the wonders, the mighty hand, and the outstretched arm, by which the Lord your God brought you out. So will the Lord your God do to all the peoples of whom you are afraid. (7:18-19)
• … be careful to do [the whole commandment that I command you today] that you may live and multiply… (8:1)
• … remember the whole way that the Lord your God has led you these forty years in the wilderness, that He might humble you, testing you to know what was in your heart, whether you would keep His commandments or not. (8:2)
• Take care lest you forget the Lord your God by not keeping His commandments and His rules and His statutes… (8:11)
• Beware lest you say in your heart, ‘My power and the might of my hand have gotten me this wealth.’ (8:17)
• Remember and do not forget… (9:7)
• … consider the discipline of the Lord your God, His greatness, His mighty hand and His outstretched arm… (11:2)
• Take care lest your heart be deceived, and you turn aside and serve other gods and worship them… (11:16)
• Take care that you do not offer your burnt offerings at any place that you see, but at the place that the Lord will choose… (12:13)
• Be careful to obey all these words that I command you, that it may go well with you and with your children after you forever… (12:28)
• … take care that you be not ensnared to follow [the enemy nations] after they have been destroyed before you, and that you do not inquire about their gods… (12:30)
• … remember that you were a slave in the land of Egypt, and the Lord your God redeemed you… (15:15)
• … remember that you were a slave in Egypt; and you shall be careful to observe these statutes. (16:12)
• … let not your heart be faint. Do not fear or panic or be in dread of [the enemy], for the Lord your God is He who goes with you to fight for you against your enemies, to give us victory. (20:3-4)
• … be careful to do [these statutes and laws] with all your heart and with all your soul. (26:16)
• Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of [the enemy], for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you. (31:6)

Do you hear it?? Do you hear Moses’ heart?? Over and over again… like a parent getting ready to launch their child into the world. Do not fear. Do not be dismayed. Do not be in dread. Do not be afraid. Listen. Take care. Watch yourselves. Beware. Be careful. Remember. Consider. Do not forget. Be strong and courageous. God goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.

Moses’ heart on paper mirrors the heart of God.

God, our Father, over and over again wants us to know how much He loves us. How much He wants us to listen to Him and follow His instruction manual for life, the Bible. Just as those rays peaking out from behind gray clouds years ago were “reaching” for my heart so that I would turn to Him, so today God is reaching out to you, dear friend, to draw you to Himself, to encourage your heart, to guide you. In the words of Moses, “take care” that you avail yourself of all that God has to offer, and together we’ll have joy in the journey of this thing called “Life!”