Author: cmmary2021

Most people who know me would NOT characterize me as a thief! BUT… there was the time when…

We were still living in communist Romania — now in a one-room apartment, having endured life in the dorms long enough! Many things were rationed during that time: flour, sugar, oil, eggs, meat. Our ration coupons didn’t do much good if said item did not arrive in town that month, but at least having them gave us a glimmer of hope!

A “perk” of living in the student housing complex was that we were also able to have coupons for fresh milk. One liter every few days. We’d leave our glass milk bottle, with our room number hanging by string around its neck, at the entrance to the building in the morning. Sometime during the day the milk would be delivered.

BUT… more often than not, there were more bottles awaiting milk than that day’s allotment, which meant someone went without. Which meant people often “switched” the tag from their empty bottle to a bottle full of milk. Which meant, in a word, stealing.

AND… more often than not, that “someone” going without was us!!!

Enough is enough! And so one day, when I found our tag laying on the floor, I simply removed someone’s else’s tag, put our tag on a full bottle of milk, and then went upstairs triumphantly with… yes, someone else’s bottle of milk! No one was going to swap OUR bottle today and get OUR milk!

I set about boiling the milk (it wasn’t pasteurized back then), eagerly looking forward to enjoying the spoils of my chicanery.

BUT… in my haste, I poured the not-yet-cool-enough milk into the glass milk bottle and…

It broke!!! The precious milk went down the drain.

I’ve often thought God has a great sense of humor. This was one of those times in which He reminded me — with a touch of humor (and humiliation) — that stealing never pays.

Why do I share this story? Because it emphasizes that sometimes, when we find ourselves in pressure-cooker type situations, we may do — or say — things that may be out of character. When I had that overwhelming, enough-is-enough feeling I reacted by trying to regain control of something that normally would not have been an issue.

I’m wondering how often — especially in this pandemic-crazed world we live in — ALL of us have had these kinds of experiences?!? Experiences that have surfaced something in us — or those around us — that is out of character. Experiences that have shocked us and made us wonder who in the world we are. Experiences in which we said or did something that is counter to how we would normally respond.

One thing this has taught me is to be kinder, gentler with myself. After all, I am NOT a thief!

AND… to be kinder, gentler with others.

And as we do that, I’m guessing that we just may be able to have joy in the journey of this thing called “Life.”

One of the most important lessons I began learning (“began” because I’m still learning!) when we lived in Romania under Communism was to be thankful. In everything. NO exceptions. 

We initially lived in Caminul 14 — the only housing option available to us at that time as foreign students. Our tiny, narrow dorm room had two twin beds, each with a desk and chair at the end. If either of us leaned back in our chair we’d bump the other! A sink completed our little home — the bathroom was either down the hall (for men) or up two flights of stairs (for me and the other foreign women). I remember washing our clothes by hand, hanging them on a line above our beds to dry… being irritated by the drip, drip, drip that interrupted our sleep.

I had a terrible attitude… complained to my young husband (we’d only been married three years); grumbled about our colleagues who lived in Vienna—who had hot water and electricity ALL the time, plus a washing machine AND clothes dryer; questioned why in the world God had sent us there. My wise young husband had us do a Bible study on coveting, which helped me see that wishing for/wanting something that others had and I didn’t was, in a word, sin. Coveting. Yuck. 

And… one of the primary results of a covetous attitude is discontentment.

As a practical application to help deal with this attitude we started a daily habit that still is a part of our lives… over 40 years later! Every night before we go to sleep we review the day and think through all the things we’re thankful for. Short little sentences. Not asking God for anything. For example, “I’m thankful for a good talk with Katie.”  “I’m thankful for finding cheese at the market.” (that was a BIG deal back then!!!) “ I’m thankful our families are healthy.” 

Some nights, the only thing I could honestly say I was thankful for was that the day was over.

But… what began to happen was that throughout the day I would “interpret” whatever problem or inconvenience I encountered through the lens of thankfulness… and what a difference it has made! I’m not done learning this lesson, though. This COVID season of life is providing ample opportunities to continue learning… and practicing being thankful!

May we all develop hearts of thankfulness… and together grow in our ability to have joy in the journey of this thing called “Life.”

I started writing this July 27th … when, the previous week, we had received word that ALL domestic flights from our city to the capital were suspended. Since September 1st, however, a handful of domestic flights are once again in service. And yet an eerie silence has ruled the sky, which at one time was teeming with both domestic and international flights. At that same time (back in July) bus travel to the capital was also be suspended.

My response… I’m beginning to feel trapped. Stuck. Again.

For the thirteenth time (not exactly sure when the counting began), a nationwide Emergency Decree has been extended. From August 1st to September 30th. And then there have been regular “rumors” about when our part of the country will be reopening for tourism, when vaccines will be available, when schools can go back to in-person versus online instruction.

Ugh. Here we go again dealing with uncertainty and the feelings of dread, fear, hopelessness that accompany it…

“Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life.”

Proverbs 13:12

There’s a lot of truth packed in that little proverb. I was talking with a friend in the US this morning who excitedly shared about an upcoming visit with her brother. Having something to look forward to, to plan for is proving to be such a boost to her morale! It is helping her see beyond the challenges she’s facing at work, the upheaval associated with a myriad of changes simultaneously bombarding her, the grieving of life-as-she-knew-it to something yet to be defined.

I guess that’s partly why I’m struggling. Those “looking-forward-to-it” things have been few and far between these days. Life has been a series of putting plans, desires on hold… for a LONG time now.

And yet… I think God is wanting to show me how I can incorporate glimmers of hope, so to speak, into my life. For instance, I can TAKE the INITIATIVE and get together with a friend for coffee (thankfully, cafes and restaurants ARE open!). Instead of wallowing in my frustration at not being able to visit with family (for two years already!) I can CHOOSE to be THANKFUL for zoom calls, emails, Messenger chats that are enabling us to keep in touch. I can BE HONEST with God and with others regarding how I’m really doing instead of trying to put on a bold, happy face.

Yes, I need to be honest with God, to pour out my heart — my longings, my frustrations, my fears — to Him.

What might you be able to incorporate into your life this week to combat the inevitable “hope deferred” kinds of feelings? How might you bring hope to someone else? We’re all in this thing called “Life” together…

… and together, may we have joy in the journey.

My mom died five months before we moved to Thailand. Today is the seventh anniversary of her death… and so I’m in a nostalgic, reminiscent frame of mind. For years she had encouraged me to write… and so here I am, finally aspiring to something she saw in me. This new venture, this blog, is dedicated to her.

I was still processing her death, grieving when we arrived in Chiang Mai. Add to that the already challenging mix of adjusting to a new culture, language, climate and… well, it was hard. Beyond hard. One of the things I became acutely aware of now that she was “finally home” with the Lord was that my biggest cheerleader, the person who always believed in me, encouraged me was no longer audibly rooting for me. Her voice had been silenced, her impact preserved in a treasure trove of memories.

One day, when I was having a particularly rough day, it seemed the Lord was saying,

“Mary, I’m here for you. I’m your biggest fan. I always have been – and I always will be!”

In an intellectual, theological way I KNEW this was true… but now… I guess you could say I was experientially learning what God had been communicating all along in His Word:

“I will never leave you, never! And I will not loosen My grip on your life!” Hebrews 13:5b (TPT)

“Behold, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands…” Isaiah 49:16 (ESV)

“I have loved you with an everlasting love. Therefore, with lovingkindness I have drawn you and continued My faithfulness to you.” Jeremiah 31:3 (AMP)

“If God is for us, who can be against us?”
Romans 8:31 (NIV)

In a very real sense, ALL of us need to be reminded that God is rooting for us and wants to see us grow and prosper. No matter what time of day or night, HIS voice is ready and eager to reassure us of His love, His faithfulness, His commitment to us, His ability to make possible those things we deem impossible.

You know what’s interesting, though? Even though I no longer “hear” my mom’s voice of encouragement, God often uses others to speak His message of hope and healing to my heart. Be that someone this week for someone else… and together, we’ll have joy in the journey of this thing called “Life.”

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton

Thanks for joining me on this journey called “Life.” I hope that you enjoy my musings… and that together we can encourage one another to keep on pressing on…