Author: cmmary2021

It’s time to build a R.A.F.T.

It’s rainy season here in the tropics. We sometimes joke with friends that it’s time to build an ark — like Noah did centuries ago when the whole world flooded. Thankfully, we live on the fifth floor of our building. Thankfully, we also live a good distance from a river that does, unfortunately, overflow its banks somewhat regularly.

But my husband and I are needing to build a R.A.F.T.

A raft is usually a temporary structure. Not something built to last forever, but something to cling to in the midst of stormy seas. Often rudderless, it’s at the mercy of the elements. It gets one from Point A to Point B — not as swiftly as something more sea-worthy nor as quickly — but it still accomplishes its purpose and “lands” one on another shore.

The late David C. Pollack (see below) developed a tool to help people like us who are in the midst of transition. He came up with an acronym that we’ve used in past moves… and are needing to use once again.

R = Reconciliation

Reconciliation means to reconcile with people. To make relationships right. Sometimes we think that if we just put distance between ourselves and whatever person or problem we struggle with everything will somehow be better once we relocate. BUT… those unresolved issues move with us. Broken relationships don’t just magically disappear. Reconciliation includes needing to forgive others and to be forgiven. A LOT of factors play into this, but at least as far as it depends on me personally, I need to intentionally do what I can to make sure I leave with no relational “stuff” hanging over my head.

A = Affirmation

Affirmation is another way to say “show appreciation.” Acknowledging what others have said or done to encourage us, to help make our stay here meaningful is a win-win situation. Too frequently, words of appreciation aren’t verbalized until it’s too late for the intended person to recognize the role they played in making a difference in our lives — think of eulogies at funerals. But by being intentional in communicating our appreciation, our thanks we validate the other’s impact and let them know how much they meant to us. This can be done either verbally (in-person) or by writing a note — and the more specific the better!

F = Farewells

Farewells… goodbyes are never fun. In fact, I really dislike them (see below for a blog written two years ago). Saying goodbye includes two crucial parts. The first is saying goodbye to people, places, possessions. If at all possible, revisit places that hold special memories. Be sure to schedule time with friends. If you are needing to downsize and get rid of possessions, take pictures of your favorites, and then”gift” them to friends so that you can visualize them still being enjoyed.

The second key part is to allow others to “farewell” you. This often feels quite awkward — after all, not many people enjoy being the center of attention! And yet this is important as much for those who will be remaining behind as for those leaving. It helps to give both parties closure.

T = Think destination

One of the most difficult parts about leaving a place is that one is, of necessity, simultaneously thinking through a gazillion details regarding the move AND thinking about what happens next. It’s like having one foot firmly planted in your current location — where everything is known, familiar, comfortable — while the other foot is firmly planted… in mid-air!?! Where are we going to settle? How will it be different from where we currently live? How will it be the same? What kind of community/support system will we have there?

A good friend, who has gone through several major moves with her family, suggested that my husband and I do a “100-day countdown.” The idea is that each day — for 100 days before we leave — we write down

  • One thing we are going to miss about living here.
  • One thing we are looking forward to when we move to our next destination.

Good advice! Especially since it will help us focus on the positives.

Yes, we’re starting to build a R.A.F.T. We recognize that we’re in this strange in-between time of disengaging from here before re-engaging elsewhere. There undoubtedly will be stormy seas as we move from Point A to Point B , but our “raft,” although temporary, is vital to enable us to leave well… so that we can enter well… so that we can live well… and have joy in the journey of this thing called “Life!”

Goodbyes… never easy

The value of routine…

Dog man. Mr. Happy. Granny. Badminton dad. No-smile jogger.

We’ve nicknamed the people we see regularly on our early morning walks. When we don’t see them, we wonder… are we earlier than normal? are they late? are they ok??

It’s the same reaction I have when we don’t hear from our kids. Or realize we haven’t seen so-and-so in their normal seat at church lately. Are they ok? sick? out of town? Did they lose their phone??

There’s something about routine that frees one’s mind — lets it go on auto-pilot, so to speak. There are numerous benefits to having routines in place. For example, when we were preparing to move overseas a “few” years ago we attended a three-month “boot camp” to help prepare us for our move. We had classes on cultural adaptation, linguistics, team building, conflict resolution, nutrition, marriage and family issues, etc. We were encouraged to build exercise into our weekly schedules. “Encouraged” is a rather mild way of stating it — it was more like a requirement! A minimum of three times a week, 20 minutes of aerobic activity each time. We checked in with our trainer at the end of each week, and if we hadn’t fulfilled the requirement we had to make up any missed sessions! Why make this such a big deal? Because physical activity is a key way to help manage/reduce stress.

Routines also help with time management. Ever since “boot camp,” when I wake up in the morning I endeavor to start the day with some form of exercise. Having that routine in place helps keep me from hemming and hawing, wondering should I or shouldn’t I exercise today? (It also helps me to wake up, which an earlier blog attests to! see link below) Have I done this consistently? Not really. More like off-and-on. When our kids were little, getting regular exercise was hit-and-miss. Now, if I’ve had a late night zoom call or have an early morning one it’s rare that my day starts with exercise.

Another routine that I’ve built into my lifestyle is having what I call my “Quiet Time,” a time set aside to read the Bible, pray, and sometimes journal. This helps to ground me. Gives stability in the midst of ever-changing circumstances and the demands of life. This routine has also morphed over the decades. When our kids were little, my daily Quiet Times sometimes felt like what I read went in one eye and out the other — with nothing connecting to my mind, let alone my heart! But the intent has always been there.

Routines, when adhered to, help us to not procrastinate. Gulp. That’s one I need help with! It’s easy for me to get distracted. To gravitate to things I enjoy doing or do well instead of choosing to do what’s necessary. My agenda — with its calendar and to do lists — helps me keep on track. Most of the time anyway!

Whenever we travel by plane we deal with jet lag. It’s a very real phenomena that results when one’s internal clock gets out of sync with where one currently is in the world. Someone once shared with us to expect to feel like a zombie one day for every time zone crossed. That meant it took our bodies about a week to readjust when we traveled from our home country to Europe when we lived there, but now — with living on the exact opposite side of the globe — it takes even longer! One thing that helps with overcoming jet lag is routine. Going to sleep at the normal time. Waking up at the normal time. And yep, exercising.

Sometimes a break in routine is beneficial– which is one reason why people go on vacation. It’s a time of NOT having to get up the same time each morning. NOT needing to think about doing laundry and responding to emails and all the stuff that fills most days. Having a break can help increase creativity. Give new perspective. Shed light on problems or other issues.

In all honesty, one of the things I’m a bit anxious about with our upcoming move to our home country is finding our new rhythms, our new routines. Redefining the sense of the familiar — like seeing Dog Man and the others on our walks. I know it will come. Eventually.

In the meantime, may we encourage one another to build some healthy routines into our lives so that together we can have joy in the journey of this thing called “Life!”

Back to realizing we haven’t seen so-and-so in their normal seat at church or not hearing from someone (like our kids)… I don’t know about you, but one thing that always lifts my spirits is when someone says, “Hey! Didn’t see you last week. Missed you!” or “Haven’t heard from you for a while. You doing ok?” Being a part of the fabric of society — and being acknowledged when absent — is another way of saying “You’ve been seen. You matter. I care.” But that’s a topic for another blog, another day.

Filling in the blanks…

… neither listened… nor…???

The phrase jumped off the page as I was reading.

“They neither listened nor obeyed.”

It was in reference to the Israelites back in the 8th century BC. The nation had split in two several hundred years earlier. Both the northern and the southern kingdoms were governed by a series of kings, most of whom were jerks. Over and over again God gave them wake up calls to try to get their attention. To try to get them to listen to Him and to keep their part of the bargain (a covenant) they had made with God. They openly defied the clear instructions He had given them, which would’ve ensured that they lived peacefully and productively in the new land they were inhabiting. They were stubborn, defiant, willful. They dishonored and disregarded everything that God had made holy.

Finally, enough was enough!

And so God sent Shalmaneser, the King of Assyria, to carry the northern kingdom into exile. Why?

“... because they did not obey the voice of the Lord their God… they neither listened nor obeyed.”

2 Kings 18:12

It’s bad enough not to obey God… to do what He has told you to do. But to not even listen… that inhibits any awareness of learning what’s on His heart, of even wanting to do so. It cuts off any chance of clearing up misunderstandings. Of being open to considering the possibility that I may be wrong. That my perspective/assessment of a situation is skewed. Of acknowledging wrongs and being forgiven.

I do it, though. Unfortunately. I have “selective listening” — choosing what I want to hear and blocking out the rest. And this doesn’t only refer to God, but also to other people — like my husband! He admits that he is also guilty of “selective hearing” and shares how, early in our marriage, he would sometimes feign listening to me while sneaking peeks at a chess magazine in his lap. Needless to say, that didn’t go over very well! And working on our communication skills has been an on-going theme in our marriage.

Sometimes I don’t hear well because my ears are literally blocked. Sounds become muffled due to a build-up of earwax. Getting rid of stubbornly embedded wax requires the intervention of a skillful physician. And it can be painful.

God is that skillful physician in my life. Rooting out whatever is blocking my ability to hear Him. Applying pressure when necessary. Rinsing, so to speak, with warm water, flushing out whatever tenaciously clings to me.

It’s a poor commentary on the Israelites when they are labeled as “neither listening nor obeying.” And it’s a poor commentary on me as well.

Lord, open my ears that I may hear Your voice — all of what You say and not what I pick and choose. And enable me to obey — wholeheartedly. Unreservedly. Without questions asked. I dishonor You when I pick and choose my way through life. Forgive me. So many voices are vying for my attention these days. Help me to intentionally block them out so that I hear Your voice above all others.

And that, my friends, will help me — and hopefully you — to have joy in the journey of this thing called “Life”!

One-way ticket…

photo credit: author

The first time I bought a one-way ticket was eleven years ago. My mother had been battling cancer and was now beginning home hospice care. I bought my ticket not knowing if it would be days, weeks, or months … only knowing I wanted to be there with my siblings to help care for her. A little over five weeks later we said our final goodbyes.

The second time was a few weeks ago when I booked tickets to our home country.

Both times, booking one-way tickets announced a finality that was — and is — hard to grasp. Both underscored that saying goodbye to people, to relationships forged over a lifetime or even those newly made is fraught with a myriad of conflicting emotions. Both accentuated the end of an era. Both were inevitable.

Booking those tickets a few weeks ago was yet another reminder that change is in the wind. That a LOT of unknowns await us. And yet at the same time, God keeps giving little glimpses into how He is going to guide and provide. Glimpses that greatly encourage my heart!

Yeah. I have my ups and downs. Good days and bad. Days when I feel overwhelmed, stuck. Days when I’m critical of everything and everyone — including myself. Days when I’m so tired I can’t think straight.

But also days when I’m refreshed by spending time with friends. Days when the beauty of this place and my morning serenade by tropical birds nurtures my soul. Days when God’s Word hits home in a way that helps me regain perspective.

Journaling has been a lifeline for me since my university days. It helps me think, process what I’m going through as I try to capture in words what’s happening in my soul. It helps me understand myself better, as well as helps point me to the things I know are true, things I need to cling to. It has become increasingly important during this in-between time of transition.

We will be moving to a new country.

Not “back home.”

To a place that has a familiar feel
– that is filled with memories of bygone days
– that is peopled by folks related by blood
and by life experiences.

And so we will go as learners
– observing thru the lens of first-time vistors
– recognizing that we will undoubtedly
make mistakes as we
navigate cultural changes
– needing to embrace the awkwardness
that comes when others
don’t know how to relate to us —
and vice versa
– finding our voice, our new identity —
while simultaneously striving
to remember what GOD says
about who we are is what is most important.

A learner is
– eager
– unafraid
– has no pre-conceived ideas —
or, more accurately,
is willing to lay them aside
– sees a gap in one’s knowledge
and is intentional in accurately filling that gap
– willing to admit mistakes,
especially where unchallenged/former
ideas or perceptions are concerned
– hopeful!
– childlike in faith
to embrace unknowns
– not trying to prove anything
– someone with a freshness that is contagious,
that inspires others
– not in competition with anyone
– one who infuses worth and
value and
respect in others.

A change in perspective.
A change in focus.
But a necessary one.
Thank you, Lord!

from my journal, June 23rd

I’m not sure where we were flying from (or maybe to??) when I took the above photo, but it symbolizes hope for me. Billowy clouds cover the land — and yet all that is hidden under their cover becomes clear, visible, alive once the plane begins its descent. A rising sun peeks above the horizon announcing the start of a new day.

We’re flying above the clouds now, metaphorically, as we prepare to move to our home country later this year. What’s under the clouds is known — even though we can’t see it right now. A new day is dawning for us, which signals an exciting new chapter.

A new chapter. New beginnings. A reminder that we can continue to have joy in the journey of this thing called “Life!” no matter where we may land!

… and so it begins …

The first two suitcases — containing some things we won’t be needing until after we get resettled sometime next year — have made it safely to our home country, courtesy of two colleagues who were here last week for meetings.

I SO dislike this part of the moving process. Inevitable. Necessary. And yet another tug on my heart as reality hits home. Yes, this chapter of our lives is slowly closing. Another — yet unknown — chapter awaits us.

In going through stuff to send with our colleagues I came across a prayer I wrote and then shared at our local church several years ago. “Ironic” how apropos it is to us now …

Father, we come before You today
with grateful hearts …

Thank you …
– for these individuals we are honoring today
[those who were moving]
– for the many and varied ways they have served You
in this part of the world and here in our church
– for the lives that have been impacted by theirs
– for the relationships that have been forged
by doing life together
– that although this chapter of their life stories
is about to close
another is soon to be written …

During this time of transition …
give them grace
with others and with themselves
as they 
– face unknowns 
– make countless decisions 
– get overwhelmed
with the myriad of details
involved in change
– desire to leave here well
AND
enter this next phase of their lives well.

Help them as they re-settle
in their passport country
and deal with the ambiguity of
– knowing the language…
and yet feeling out of sync
– of not being sure where “home” is.

May this in-between time
remind them
that their true home is with You.

Provide friends for them
and a church home where they can belong
and build a new sense of community.

Give them safety in their travels
and good times reconnecting
with family and friends.

We also come before You
on behalf of those of us who remain here
and sometimes feel more acutely the absence
of those who have left.
– Help us, as well as those leaving,
as we grieve the emptiness
that results when transitions occur.
– Help us to acknowledge that no one
can ever replace those relationships.
– Help us to not build walls of protection
around our hearts —
but to be open to new people
You may be wanting us to get to know. 

May we not lose sight of who You are …
– Jehovah Jirah: the Lord will provide
– Jehovah Shalom: the Lord is peace
– Elohim: the Lord Most High,
stronger and mightier
than anyone or anything we may face
– El Roi: the strong One who sees,
which is a reminder that
we are never alone,
even when feeling lonely
– the Good Shepherd, the One who gently leads
– Abba Father

Thank you, Lord,
for how rich we are because of the people
You have brought into our lives!

Amen!

Yep. That prayer from seven years ago is still valid today … and even more so for my husband and myself now that we are the ones preparing to move in six months.

We are the ones needing to give each other — and ourselves — grace.

We are the ones making countless decisions and occasionally getting overwhelmed with the myriad of details.

We are the ones who want to leave here well… AND enter the next phase of our lives well.

And most importantly, we are the ones whose lives are richer because of all those who have come across our paths these past years.

It is because of God’s sustaining goodness and the countless people we’ve rubbed shoulders with that we’ve been able to have joy in the journey of this thing called “Life!” and will continue to do so as we face the future — whatever it may hold!

What’s robbing YOUR joy???

Dread. Sadness. Despair. Feeling overwhelmed. Feeling stuck. Paralyzed.

Not a pretty picture. But a window into my soul these past days.

In a sense, it’s inevitable. To be expected. As we prepare to move back to our home country later this year, there is “stuff” we have to face. Have to work through. Add to that everything that is happening in our world these days… the overall picture isn’t very encouraging. Actually, it’s rather depressing and bleak.

And yet I’ve fallen into a dangerous trap. A trap that is robbing me of joy. Robbing me of savoring each day as the gift it’s intended to be. Robbing me of my focus. My perspective.

What I’ve subtly slipped into is focusing on

  • all my to-do lists.
  • the unknowns awaiting us.
  • deadlines.
  • expectations — mine and those of others (which often are unfounded).
  • listening to voices — real and imagined — that make me question myself. Make me question God.
  • digging up past mistakes.
  • rehearsing failures, which means not remembering victories, good things that happened.
  • what social media and the news has to say, which is a sure-fire way to get depressed!

I was sharing this malaise with my husband the other day, and he said something profound:

“God more fully understands our feelings than we do…. We need to be self-sympathetic instead of self-accusing… Despair over past mistakes is what Screwtape has on his clipboard for you, Mary.” [referencing C.S. Lewis’ book “The Screwtape Letters” that portrays Satan’s schemes to derail God’s people]

God more fully understands our feelings than we do

When the cares of my heart are many/when my anxious thoughts multiply within me/when doubts fill my mind/when I am upset and beside myself, Your [God’s] consolations/Your comforts cheer my soul/delight me/give me needed hope and cheer/calm me down and cheer me up.

Psalm 94:19 compiled from various versions

Hmm… this made me wonder… what do God’s consolations look like? How can they cheer my soul?

Reading Psalm 94 in its entirety gives some hints:

  • verses 9-11 remind us that God knows what’s going on! (“He who planted the ear, does He not hear? He who formed the eye, does He not see?”)
  • verses 17-18 remind us that God has shown His support of us already! (“If the Lord had not been my help, my soul would soon have lived in the land of silence. When I thought, ‘My foot slips,’ Your steadfast love, O Lord, held me up”)
  • verse 22 reminds us that God has already become our stronghold, the rock of our refuge.
  • verse 23 reminds us that someday He WILL surely judge all the injustices and wrongs in our world, in our lives.

As I ponder and focus on God’s character, the cares of my heart are reframed. In other words, what can seem overwhelming or a big deal shrinks when seen from God’s perspective. He alone sees ALL of my life. ALL of my days. My unknown (to me) future. My fears. My desires.

Yes, there are things that rob my joy — at least attempt to do so. And yet I’m endeavoring to be intentional in looking for the “consolations of God” to see how He may be working on my behalf to cheer my soul. To delight me. To give me much needed hope. To calm me.

I’ve written in my agenda — with large letters — “I choose JOY!” A visible reminder that every day, as I start each day — and numerous times throughout — I need to do whatever it takes to focus on things that won’t drag me down and rob my joy. I need to carefully choose what I listen to, what I watch, what I read. I need to limit (eliminate?) my exposure to social media and news. I need to be sensitive to others, to reach out to others — because that helps me to get my focus off me, myself, and I!

We’ll still be doing a lot of processing, a lot of grieving as we leave this place that has been home for over a decade. And disengaging here and preparing to reengage elsewhere will be fraught with a myriad of emotions… BUT…

God more fully understands our feelings than we do

… and focusing on what He says is true will be how we navigate this next season, enabling us to not get sidetracked by feelings of dread, sadness, despair; acknowledging that there will be times of feeling overwhelmed, but choosing to not dwell there; doing things that are emotionally-recharging when that stuck, paralyzed feeling kicks in. However imperfectly we do this — with some days being successful, somedays not — it will be how we’ll have joy in the journey of this thing called “Life!”

The Oatmeal Crew…

It was the summer before I graduated from university. I was working as a chambermaid in a hotel at the beach. Every morning I would make a small bowl of oatmeal before heading off to work. Plain. Nothing added besides some milk… maybe a smidgen of brown sugar??

I shared the basement kitchen of an old hotel/now boarding house with a bunch of other college students. We didn’t have much money, and so were frugal regarding what groceries we bought.

About the same time each morning I was making my breakfast a bunch of guys were making a BIG pot of — you guessed it, oatmeal! One day they asked if I would like to share from their pot, which only made sense, right?! And so I became a part of the “Oatmeal Crew.”

That group became a very important part of my daily life. It helped me begin to understand the importance of community… of having a group of like-minded people to share life with… a group who was pursuing the same goal.

Fast forward to today… My husband and I have been talking through our upcoming move to our home country later this year. One of the key factors we’re considering regarding where we will relocate is community.

As Christ-followers, it will be important for us to find a body of like-minded people with whom to begin cultivating that sense of community. A church is a good place to start.

In addition, wherever we’ve lived over the years we’ve always been intentional getting to know our neighbors. People older and younger than we. People who believe differently… or don’t believe at all. People from all different walks of life, cultural backgrounds. Our lives have been enriched because of the many people we’ve rubbed shoulders with over the years. And so I’m anticipating that we’ll do this wherever we end up living!

We’ll also be looking for ways to plug in… to be involved in the lives of others. Ways to start building community.

We’re in a different season of life this time around. Our capabilities and limitations are somewhat different from when we first moved overseas 46+ years ago. And yet I’m encouraged by a lesson from the life of Christ.

Jesus and his followers were faced with a bit of a dilemma. A large crowd — at least 5000 — had followed them to the mountains. Everyone was hungry, but a few problems emerged.

First problem: there wasn’t a grocery store out there in the middle of nowhere where they could buy food!

Second problem: even if there were a store, how could they possibly purchase enough food to feed that many people?!

A young boy had five loaves of bread and two fish. Hardly seems like that could make a dent in feeding so many people! But miraculously, after Jesus gave thanks for this meager gift, not only was there enough food but also there were twelve FULL baskets of leftovers!

So… what’s the lesson for me?

Did it matter how many loaves of bread Jesus had? or how many fish? Nope. He took what the boy had and accomplished what needed to be done. All it took was a willingness on the boy’s part to offer to Jesus what he had.

… a willingness to offer to Jesus what he had…

At this season of life I may not have the energy I had in my 20s… but whatever I give to the Lord to use, He can use! What’s important is for me to be willing. To be willing to offer to Jesus whatever I have. To not try to out-think God (perish the thought!) regarding what I can and cannot do. (Yes, I have a tendency to do that. But I’m working on learning to more consistently apply the wisdom of the following…)

Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In ALL your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your paths.

Proverbs 3: 5-6

Wherever we end up living, wherever we start building community, my desire is to use whatever gifts and abilities I have, whatever energy or lack-thereof I have, whatever resources (financial, spiritual, mental) I have to help advance God’s Kingdom here on earth. I’m trusting that God will take my loaves and fishes and multiply them according to His plans and purposes.

Sounds exciting, right?! And scary. But the lesson from the Oatmeal Crew continues to impact my life, especially since I ended up marrying one of the guys! Together, he and I are looking forward to whatever our future holds. Together, we’re anticipating that we’ll continue to have joy in the journey of this thing called “Life!”

PS You can read the story of the loaves and fishes in the New Testament book of John, chapter 6.

PS #2 To read more about the summer I was a chambermaid, see this earlier blog:

The danger of assumptions…

Filling in the blanks…

Ok. I admit it. I’m a slow-waker-upper. My husband used to say that when I first woke up I would bounce from wall to wall in search of caffeine. My sister, on the other hand, is wide awake and bushy-tailed the moment her feet hit the floor! I have improved over the years, thankfully… but I’m definitely NOT a morning person.

And so when my husband and I went for a walk a few mornings ago you now can understand why he was so perplexed when I pointed to a dead bird on the path. “Bird?” he said. “Does a bird have pincers?!?”

In my not-quite-alert state I had briefly glanced at what looked to me like a baby bird. I filled in the blanks, made an assumption, and announced, “Watch out! There’s a dead bird on the ground!”

I didn’t look closely to see what was actually on the ground.

I’m not alone in filling in the blanks, not looking closely at a situation, coming to erroneous conclusions. The Israelites fell into that trap several times.

Once they entered the Promised Land, the Israelites engaged in military campaigns to conquer the territory. Their mandate: annihilate the inhabitants and take over the land. Sounds brutal, and it was! Their first conquests instilled fear in the hearts of the people in the remaining territories. The inhabitants’ hearts melted and there was no longer any spirit in them because of the people of Israel (Joshua 5:1).

The city of Gibeon decided on a plan to trick the Israelites into making a treaty with them, a treaty that would obligate the Israelites to come to their aid if the Gibeonites were attacked. They came up with an elaborate deception to save themselves from what would be certain death once the Israelites invaded their city.

They went to the camp of the Israelites with worn-out sacks on their donkeys. All their provisions were dry and crumbly. Their wineskins were split open and mended. Their sandals were patched and they wore worn-out clothes. They said, “We have come from a distant country, so now make a covenant (treaty) with us.”

Joshua, the leader of the Israelites, was skeptical. He even wondered if these people lived among them. But the Gibeonites were very convincing.

From a very distant country your servants have come, because of the name of the Lord your God. For we have heard a report of Him, and all that He did in Egypt… and to the two kings of the Amorites… So our elders and the inhabitants of our country [sent us to you]… This bread was hot from the ovens when we left our homes. But now it is dry and moldy. These wineskins were new when we filled them, but now they are old and split open. And these garments and sandals are worn out from the very long journey.

Joshua 9: 9-13

The Israelites examined the Gibeonites’ food — did a quick look/see — but didn’t ask God if it was a good idea to enter into an agreement with these strangers. And so Joshua made a treaty with them.

Three days later the Israelites learned that these people actually lived nearby. And because of the treaty, the Israelites were now obligated to protect the Gibeonites from any attacks from enemy nations.

Filling in the blanks. Glancing at a situation, not looking at it closely. Failing to be discerning. Not seeking God and His wisdom.

Ouch! I realize I sometimes fall into the same trap. I hastily read a text or half-listen to a conversation… and fill in the blanks of what I think the other person was wanting to communicate. I look at worn-out sacks, wineskins, clothes — in other words, outer appearances — and fill in the blanks, jumping to conclusions about a person. I neglect to first ask God what HE wants me to do — filling in the blanks with my very limited knowledge and wisdom.

Live and learn, right?!? Hopefully! May we take to heart yet another lesson from the children of Israel and NOT fill in the blanks, but rather learn to be more discerning. And together, may we have joy in the journey of this thing called “Life!”

By the way… the “bird” was actually a crab!

At sixes and sevens…

That’s the way today’s journal entry started…

Finding myself at sixes and sevens...

I got to thinking… what on earth does this expression actually mean?? How did it enter the English language?? I know how I was feeling… at odds with myself. Not sure what to do next. Not really in a funk… but… well, at sixes and sevens.

A little sleuthing, courtesy of Wikipedia, says at sixes and sevens is an English idiom used to describe a condition of confusion or disarray. It dates from the mid-1380s meaning “to hazard the world” or “to risk one’s life.”

Various states of confusion and risk are true of our household right now.

A few months ago I blogged about our “trifecta” (see link below). Several major decisions had converged upon our lives. One by one, clarity has come. One by one, decisions have been made. One by one, we’re moving ahead… into a new chapter of our lives.

That’s where confusion and risk fit in. My husband and I have made the decision to move back to our home country… after 46+ years of living abroad! We don’t have to learn another language, thankfully! But a LOT has changed — both in our home country and in our lives individually and as a couple — since we first moved overseas as almost newlyweds (we celebrated our third wedding anniversary a couple weeks after arriving in Europe a “few” years ago).

Uprooting and then resettling yet another time is filled with a myriad of decisions, emotions. Sometimes it’s overwhelming. Scary. Other times, exciting!

And then there’s a day like today… when I’m at sixes and sevens. After sharing our news with our families, we started spilling the beans to good friends. No one has been all that surprised — actually, they seem rather excited! But sharing this news face-to-face with someone yesterday and another friend today… well, the reality of this decision and all it entails keeps sinking in. Keeps becoming more and more real.

I’m already making mental lists of things I’ll miss living here in the tropics, like the daily serenade of birds I listen to each morning as I sit in my living room spending time with God. And mental lists of things I’m anxious about with our upcoming move, like WHERE will we end up living???

I’m feeling a bit like the Israelites that I’ve been blogging about lately. We’re on our own journey in the “wilderness” on our way to the “promised land.” The journey is fraught with detours, challenges, unknowns, potential misunderstandings.

Hmm… do you think God may have had me reading that portion of the Bible because He knew what was coming down the road for us?!? That there were lessons to be learned from the Israelites that would help me today?!? In the 21st century?!? I’m inclined to think YES!

Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened or afraid, and do not be dismayed [surprised, disillusioned, disappointed] for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9

… in quietness and in trust is your strength… Isaiah 30:15

These are some of the things I’m focusing on during these topsy-turvy days. Things that I know are true. Things that will help me keep my focus on God. Things that will enable me to trust HIS plans — even though they aren’t all crystal clear to us yet! I’m confident that by doing so, there will be joy in the journey of this thing called “Life!”

Decisions, decisions, decisions…

Pop quiz… and I flunked!!!

photo credit: redbubble.com

Mrs. Warren’s trigonometry class. Or was it Mr. Schneller’s chemistry class? The words “POP QUIZ” instilled fear in my heart as a high school student. Would I remember what had been taught the day before? Why am I drawing a blank on this formula? Why did I procrastinate doing my homework?!? Ugh. Should’ve paid better attention. Should’ve been better prepared. Should’ve gone to bed earlier so that my brain wasn’t so fuzzy.

A few weeks ago I wrote about the danger of making assumptions. And, as often happens, life sometimes gives us a pop quiz to see how well we’ve learned our lessons. In other words, do I practice what I preach — or in this case, blog about??

Well, two days ago I had a pop quiz.

We get together weekly with some friends for Bible study and prayer. A time of hanging out with one another — catching up on what’s been happening in our lives. One couple couldn’t come because they were sick. Another couple said they had a conflict and also wouldn’t make it.

At least that is what I assumed.

We then got together for dinner with a third couple from our group. BUT… we received a text from the couple I had assumed couldn’t come wondering where and when the group would be meeting.

On, no!!! What have I done?!?

Pop quiz on assumptions! And I flunked! As a result, I now needed to talk this through with the others so that my goof doesn’t cause any additional misunderstandings and/or negatively influence our relationships. Ugh.

I’m not the only one who flunked a quiz on assumptions. Our friends the Israelites flunked BIG TIME!

After the incident I shared about in the “Danger of Assumptions” blog (see link below), the Israelites — both those who had settled on the western side of the Jordan River and those on the eastern side — joined forces to conquer the land.

So far, so good.

The land was conquered. Everyone went home. But before the eastern tribes returned to their homes across the Jordan River, they built a large altar. The other tribes — the ones who lived on the western side of the river — had a fit! They assumed the worst.

[We, the western tribes] demand to know why you [the eastern tribes] are betraying the God of Israel. How could you turn away from the Lord and build an altar for yourselves in rebellion against Him?… today you are turning away from following the Lord. If you rebel against [Him] today, He will be angry with all of us tomorrow… do not rebel against the Lord or against us by building an altar other than the one true altar of the Lord our God.

Joshua 22: 16-19

They were SO angry about this that they were ready to make war against their fellow Israelites!

Fortunately, instead of taking matters into their own hands and starting a war, they first sent a delegation to check things out. AND… what had been an erroneous assumption was cleared up.

The truth is, we [the tribes of the eastern side of the river] have built this altar because we fear that in the future your descendants [those on the other side of the river] will say to ours, ‘What right do you have to worship the Lord, the God of Israel? The Lord has placed the Jordan River as a barrier between our people and [yours]. You have no claim to the Lord.’

So your descendants may prevent [ours] from worshiping the Lord. So we decided to build the altar… as a memorial. It will remind our descendants and [yours] that we, too, have the right to worship the Lord… it is a reminder of the relationship both of us have with the Lord.

Joshua 22: 24-28

Whew! A bloodbath averted.

I’m adding a few items to my list of things being learned about assumptions:

  • Beware of jumping to conclusions!!!
  • Make it a habit to first verify ALL the info… to make sure you’re not missing something or misreading the situation.
  • Lay aside your own prejudices and preconceived ideas.
  • Recognize that our own impatience often adds fuel to the fire! It’s better to err on the side of caution than to barge ahead only knowing part of the story.
  • Cultivate a habit of listening not only to the other person’s words but also to their heart. To the unspoken things that are “heard” by paying attention to one’s countenance and body language.
  • Recognize how wanting to stick to OUR agenda, OUR plans can hijack our perspective.

Back to my dilemma… I talked with our friends. Everything was resolved. And now, thankfully, I can — without regret or wondering if everything is ok — continue to have joy in the journey of this things called “Life!”

The danger of assumptions…