Joy in the Journey

Last week’s Zoom meeting was on the one hand very encouraging. Four other women and I met to do some brainstorming for the coming year, 2022. We were thinking through what we sense God wants us to pursue regarding training women in this part of the world — a HUGE task, but one to which each woman on the team is passionately committed. They are a fantastic group, and even though we live in three different countries and have to juggle multiple time zones for our calls, our deep, genuine commitment to one another and to God spurs us on as we tackle a myriad of unknowns.

On the other hand, the call was a bit overwhelming. IF ONLY we had a crystal ball that we could peer into to glean answers to all the uncertainties confronting us. IF ONLY it were possible to KNOW if we should pursue Option A… or B… or C… or D (which was a hybrid of C + A or B). The pros and cons, advantages and disadvantages of each option were duly noted and discussed…

And yet the call ended and we had no answer, no concrete idea of how we should proceed.

Decisions are a well-known part of life. Everything from… What should I make for dinner? Where should I go to university? Who should be my life partner? When can we make plans to travel? Should I change jobs/move? Should I pursue this or that treatment for my health concerns? How can I pay next month’s rent? When can we meet again in-person (a question not on anyone’s radar until COVID turned our world upside down)? The list is endless…

As our team pondered all the unknowns facing us, we came back to an underlying, guiding principle:

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your paths. (ESV)

Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don’t try to figure out everything on your own. Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; He’s the one who will keep you on track. (MSG)

Proverbs 3: 5-6

God, not a crystal ball, is the One who will — in His timing, in His ways — make His plans clear to us. When we (yours truly in particular!) try to figure everything out on our own… well, we end being anxious, fearful, overwhelmed. Sometimes I find I’m so busy that I fail to MAKE time to listen for God’s voice. I get caught in a frenzy of activity… and so need to slow down, listen, trust.

Yes, TRUST in the Lord… with ALL my heart. Don’t depend on my own feeble understanding. I’m so very limited… but God sees the big picture, all the things that I’m unaware of (thankfully!).

It’s a journey, this thing called living by faith, learning to trust God moment by moment… and sometimes I do better than other times. But as we — like the women in the Zoom call — come together to listen to one another, to hear one another’s hearts, to encourage each other we can move forward and have joy in the journey of this thing called “Life.”

A crucible is a pot in which metals or other substances can be melted or heated to very high temperatures. It can also refer to a situation in which something is tested or in which a conflict takes place, often one which produces something new.

Both definitions eerily resonate with what our world has experienced since COVID became a household word: things definitely heated up, so to speak, around the globe. Testing took place, is continuing to take place. But the “produces something new” part… well, we certainly hope so, but there are days when all we feel is the heat and none of the benefits.

Dr. David Van Dyke, in his article “The Covid-19 Crucible: Confronting Our True Selves” made a comment I agree with… and yet wish weren’t true:

“… our true selves are being exposed, and we don’t like what we see.”

Experientially, we probably all can attest to how the pandemic has impacted us. It has been unsettling, scary, disorienting, frustrating. All the things we could count on — daily routines, interactions with others, financial security — have changed, some perhaps permanently. Some parts of the world appear to be back to normal, while others are still teetering off-balance. Here in Thailand we’re holding our breath, being cautiously optimistic as the country has re-opened to visitors from 63 nations as of November 1st. Some restrictions are still in place, but it’s an important step on the road to recovery.

Another thing a crucible does is purify. The process reveals the true beauty or identity of whatever is being tested by removing the yucky stuff. The unimportant stuff. The stuff that tends to cling and distort what is true. In other words, it can help us discover who we were made to be. The “real me” as God sees you and me.

One area in which God is using this crucible in my life is exposing my tendency to want to be in control. When plans go awry, when hopes get dashed, when anxious thoughts multiply because of uncertainty I’m realizing how subtly I’ve put my trust in my ability to call the shots, to figure things out, to want to fix whatever. I’ve forgotten that God is in control, that He really DOES know what He’s doing, that I can trust Him for all the unknowns that can so quickly derail my thinking and actions.

Being in this crucible is reinforcing the importance of clinging to a proper understanding of who God is and who He has made me to be. It also makes me realize how now, more than ever, we need one another as we figure out some of these things. We need to continue nurturing relationships, identifying and sharing what we appreciate with one another. We need to be vulnerable, sharing openly and honestly with one another. We need, in a very real sense, to be willing to take some risks as we’re in this crucible.

Dr. Van Dyke also said,

“We will continue to have crucibles in our lives that reveal our true selves. Now is the time to address and practice ways of relating that will foster emotional and relational flourishing, even in times of social distancing, pandemic induced loss, and things out of control.”

Hmm… we will CONTINUE to have crucibles in our lives…

May we seek ways to encourage one another in whatever crucible we find ourselves in — helping one another to be expectant that something new may emerge from the “heat” we’re experiencing. And together, may that help us to have joy in the journey of this thing called “Life.”

One thing I personally have found difficult to handle during this global pandemic is how to process and respond to the over-abundance of information that is circulating. Here in Thailand we’ve been eagerly awaiting news that the country would once again be open to tourists and that travel for ALL of us would return to “normal” and not be impeded by mandatory regulations. It’s important for multiple reasons that this happen, especially economic ones. But we’ve been ping-ponging back and forth for a long time now… hopes raised, then dashed, then raised again.

It’s wearying. And, in all honesty, can be downright depressing.

I found myself in a bit of a funk last week. A contributing factor was facing my fears at the dental office, but my emotions spiraled downward as I focused on the latest updates on social media: will we reopen or not — and WHEN? how are COVID cases in the expat/foreign community affecting folks we know? how are friends coping who are home quarantining because their daughter was exposed at school?

I also found myself focusing on other hard news: thinking of dear friends as the husband had a heart valve replaced; waiting with others for the results of a bone scan; learning that the 27 year old daughter of other friends had died from preeclampsia three weeks after giving birth to their first child. Add to that concern for our daughter as she was traveling to a heavily COVID-infected part of Romania and not hearing anything from our son for several weeks…

Some of what was influencing me was real. But a lot was conjecture… wondering about all the what if’s that could happen…

Wondering about all the what if’s, all the things that might happen is, unfortunately, magnified by rumor. And rumors definitely fueled my being in a funk.

RUMOR: noun

a story or statement in general circulation without confirmation or certainty as to facts; hearsay

source: Dictionary.com (app)

My Bible reading last week was in the Old Testament book of Nehemiah. Nehemiah was tasked with the job of rebuilding the city wall of Jerusalem back in 445 BC. Not everyone was in favor of what he was doing, and one way his opponents sought to derail this undertaking was to circulate rumors. When Nehemiah learned of this, he responded,

Nothing like what you are saying is happening; you are just making it up out of your head. (NIV)

No such things as you say have been done, for you are inventing them out of your own mind. (ESV)

There is no truth in any part of your story. You are making up the whole thing. (NLT)

Nehemiah 6:8

The rumors were being circulated with a specific purpose in mind: to frighten the people who were rebuilding the wall, to make them think they would be too weak for the work and wouldn’t be able to complete the task. They also were a form of intimidation designed to ruin Nehemiah’s reputation and to discredit him in the eyes of the people he was helping.

Hmm.. I got to thinking about how rumors impact my 21st century world… how they

• tend to create suspicion/mistrust — of other people, of those in authority
• often result in fear, which in turn leads to a lack of focus… the inability to see a task thru to completion… feeling paralyzed, unable to do anything/be productive… being paranoid… losing perspective
• cause us to jump to premature conclusions, ignoring facts
• can be intimidating, which in turn can result in staining/tainting one’s reputation, discrediting one’s character

Yuck. That’s pretty depressing.

Part of getting out of my funk has been 1) acknowledging it and 2) intentionally making some choices:

• to focus on what I KNOW is true… not all the what if’s
• to limit my exposure to social media (!!!) and other premature/not-yet-proven news sources
• to choose to walk by faith… not by sight or hearsay

I’m still in the process of putting all this into practice… still learning… and still believing that this is how I — and you — can have joy in the journey of this thing called “Life.”

Dentists rank right up there with snakes on my “things I MOST dislike” list. And so when I started having some pain a couple of weeks ago, I kept hoping against hope that it would get better. Thankfully, I have a super dentist here whom I trust implicitly. She knows my sensitivity issues, is extremely patient and gentle, and so when the first course of action (taking antibiotics to knock out a suspected infection) didn’t work, she then consulted with the “crown specialist” to see if drilling out the old filling and putting on a temporary crown would do the trick.

Nope. Didn’t work.

Which meant a root canal. YIKES!!!

Thankfully, the “root canal guy” was extremely attentive to his hyper patient — at the slightest flinch he shot me up with more painkiller — and so I was able to endure the treatment… and it was successful.

This “adventure” got me thinking about sin. Crazy, right?!? But stick with me…

Sin is anything that hinders us from having a right relationship with God. It can be an inward, unexpressed attitude (thought) or an outward, deliberate act. It often manifests itself with being more interested in “me” than others. It skews our thinking, destroys relationships. It masquerades as being rational, tolerant. It often looks good and inviting, and yet results in death… spiritual death (severing our relationship with God) and eventually physical death.

The only way to deal with sin is to root it out… to not ignore the warning signs, pangs of conscience. Left “untreated” — like the tooth pain I was trying desperately to ignore — sin is disastrous.

I wonder how often God nudges me about a poor attitude that I have… and I rationalize, put off dealing with it? How often my words, spoken in the heat of the moment, have scarred a relationship? How my impatience and unrealistic expectations have distorted how I view myself and others? How… ??? The list goes on and on.

The endodontist (“root canal guy”) knew that in order to rid my tooth of any further chance of infection he would have to do some pretty serious digging (drilling) and cleaning. He balanced his concern for my comfort with the necessity of doing a thorough job. He didn’t quit until he was convinced the root was clean.

God is like that, too. Sometimes, as He’s “digging” around, exposing sin in our lives, it hurts. We may want to avoid dealing with whatever the issue is. We may rant and rave and bad mouth Him… but He’s boldly, gently balancing His commitment to eradicating anything that hinders our relationship with Him with His love for us. He knows what pain is all about — after all, His only Son died a brutal death so that you and I can have a relationship with Him.

And ultimately, that’s how we can have joy in the journey of this thing called “Life.”

If I were an artist I would draw a picture of someone who is overwhelmed, exhausted. Someone feeling hopeless, abandoned, isolated, invisible. Someone lacking confidence. Someone at the bottom of the proverbial barrel staring into a black void.

BUT… they would be receiving an infusion, an infusion of courage.

That’s what it means to encourage…

en (prefix): to cause (a person or thing) to be in the place, condition, or state named by the stem word

+ courage (stem word) : the quality of mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty, danger, pain, etc. without fear; bravery

= to cause a person to have the quality of mind or spirit that enables them to face difficulty, danger, pain, etc. without fear; to inspire with courage, spirit, or hope ; to spur on

source: Dictionary.com (app) and http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary

One of my favorite Bible persons is David, a shepherd boy who had a most unlikely friendship with the son of the King. David and his friend Jonathan– at different times in their lives — embodied what it means to encourage someone.

Jonathan went to David at Horesh and helped him find strength in God.

I Samuel 23:16

But David found strength in the Lord his God.

I Samuel 30: 6b

Two separate incidents… In the first, David is being relentlessly pursued by Jonathan’s father, King Saul. David and his men had been on the run trying to evade this madman, this monarch who at one time had valued David for his bold slaying of Goliath, had made him his bodyguard, had been comforted by his harp-playing. Saul’s jealousy of David became an obsession that led to irrational behavior.

Being pursued by someone David endeavored to honor and respect — after all, Saul was anointed by God to be king — was exhausting… physically, emotionally, spiritually. At just the right time, his friend Jonathan took the initiative to find David and help him find strength in his God. Jonathan reassured David that there was nothing to fear. He reminded him of what they both knew would someday be true: that David himself would one day be King over Israel.

Several years later, David finds himself in another precarious situation: he and his men discover their wives and children have been kidnapped, their homes burned to the ground, their possessions taken. They wept until they had no strength. And then David fears again for his life, this time from his own men who were so distraught by what had happened that they wanted to stone him. Again he’s exhausted physically, emotionally, spiritually.

In the first incident, God sent a friend to encourage and fortify David.

In the second incident, David went straight to God.

Sometimes we need someone else to buoy us up as we face life’s challenges. Someone who knows us well enough that they take the initiative and show up when we need a reminder to refocus on what we know is true. Someone who reassures us that we need not fear… that God is our strength, that He is all we need. Someone who is willing to speak the truth to us, regardless of how we may respond.

Other times we are able to find all that we need when we go straight to God on our own.

Going back to my picture of someone receiving an infusion, an infusion of courage… that’s the end result in both instances: being infused with something that enables us to face whatever difficulties are in our life, whatever uncertainties, whatever hurts. Being inspired with courage and hope. Being motivated to not give up, to keep pressing on. Sometimes God uses others to accomplish that… sometimes He’s all we need.

And YOU, my friend, just may be that someone — that Jonathan — in another person’s life this week.

And that is how together we’re able to have joy in the journey of this thing called “Life!”

The entire message took less than two minutes. Fifty-seven seconds of a video recording of church bells and twenty-seven seconds of greetings from my friend. I was perplexed at first… why was she sending a recording of church bells??? But then she explained… she had remembered that prior to our moving from Romania I had mentioned that I would miss hearing the daily ringing of church bells, something that had been a part of our lives the 19 years we lived there. And so… she sent me church bells.

Anxiety in a man’s heart weighs him down, but a good word makes him glad. (ESV)

Worry weighs us down; a cheerful word picks us up. (MSG)

An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up. (NIV)

Worry weighs a person down; an encouraging word cheers a person up. (NLT)

Proverbs 12: 25

A good word, a cheerful word, a kind word, an encouraging word makes us glad, picks us up, cheers us up. What we say can be “just what the doctor ordered” to lift someone’s anxious feelings. My friend’s message spoke tenderly and powerfully to my heart: I’m thinking about you, Mary! I remember something that was meaningful to you! I care enough to take the time to let you know!

There are oh, so many! opportunities for us to come alongside one other these days! “Little” things we say or do can communicate to others how our lives are intertwined and help dispel the feelings of isolation/loneliness that have become so prevalent. “Little” things can demonstrate that we’re wanting to learn from and support one another, that we’re wanting to be intentional in building one another up and being there when times are hard as well as easy. “Little” things can convey that we are looking outward, not focusing on our own circumstances/needs/desires/frustrations but rather being attentive to others around us.

What if you — and I — would be intentional this next week in considering how to encourage at least one person??? As my friend demonstrated, it doesn’t necessarily mean a huge time commitment. It just means letting someone know you’re thinking of them, remembering them, letting them know you care.

And as we do this, together we can have joy in the journey of this thing called “Life!”

card copyright MMXIII Snafu Designs, Inc.

My heart sank when I picked up the mail. I had sent birthday greetings to a dear friend my husband and I had met after moving from communist Romania to Vienna, Austria. He, like my mom, had always encouraged me to write, and so I was eager to share with him about launching this blog. In the card I told him how “it took a pandemic for God to kick me in the pants and get me in gear to do what you, Mr. Petersen, had encouraged me to do YEARS ago!” I closed our greetings with “I wanted to tell you that YOU are a big part of my inspiration and courage in pursuing this goal! Thank you!”

And so seeing the envelope stamped RETURN TO SENDER caused my heart to sink.

My words were too late.

Our friend had died the end of January.

Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to do it. (ESV)

Never walk away from someone who deserves help; your hand is God’s hand for that person. (MSG)

Proverbs 3:27

I remember reading this verse as a new Christian. I thought to myself, “Well, if I can say something to encourage someone, if I can do something to help them… maybe that’s one way I can apply this.” And so I started trying to incorporate this principle into my life: whenever I had the opportunity to say or do something to encourage others/to build them up, I would endeavor to do so.

I wish I could say that I have consistently applied this ever since… but, like lots of things in life, I’m still learning. Still practicing.

Getting this RETURN TO SENDER envelope in the mail was a stark reminder that I still have a LONG way to go in learning to NOT put things off… to act NOW when God nudges me to say or do something. I was too late for Mr. Petersen… but what about today? How might I encourage someone today?

ALL of us need to hear a kind word, to be affirmed in who we are and what we do. Just imagine the difference it would make if everyone were lavish with their words and acts of kindness! If we would “not withhold good from those to whom its due, when it is in [our] power to do it.” If we would take seriously the fact that “[our] hand is God’s hand for that person.”

And as this becomes more and more natural in our lives, I would imagine that we truly will find joy in the journey of this thing called “Life!”

Most people who know me would NOT characterize me as a thief! BUT… there was the time when…

We were still living in communist Romania — now in a one-room apartment, having endured life in the dorms long enough! Many things were rationed during that time: flour, sugar, oil, eggs, meat. Our ration coupons didn’t do much good if said item did not arrive in town that month, but at least having them gave us a glimmer of hope!

A “perk” of living in the student housing complex was that we were also able to have coupons for fresh milk. One liter every few days. We’d leave our glass milk bottle, with our room number hanging by string around its neck, at the entrance to the building in the morning. Sometime during the day the milk would be delivered.

BUT… more often than not, there were more bottles awaiting milk than that day’s allotment, which meant someone went without. Which meant people often “switched” the tag from their empty bottle to a bottle full of milk. Which meant, in a word, stealing.

AND… more often than not, that “someone” going without was us!!!

Enough is enough! And so one day, when I found our tag laying on the floor, I simply removed someone’s else’s tag, put our tag on a full bottle of milk, and then went upstairs triumphantly with… yes, someone else’s bottle of milk! No one was going to swap OUR bottle today and get OUR milk!

I set about boiling the milk (it wasn’t pasteurized back then), eagerly looking forward to enjoying the spoils of my chicanery.

BUT… in my haste, I poured the not-yet-cool-enough milk into the glass milk bottle and…

It broke!!! The precious milk went down the drain.

I’ve often thought God has a great sense of humor. This was one of those times in which He reminded me — with a touch of humor (and humiliation) — that stealing never pays.

Why do I share this story? Because it emphasizes that sometimes, when we find ourselves in pressure-cooker type situations, we may do — or say — things that may be out of character. When I had that overwhelming, enough-is-enough feeling I reacted by trying to regain control of something that normally would not have been an issue.

I’m wondering how often — especially in this pandemic-crazed world we live in — ALL of us have had these kinds of experiences?!? Experiences that have surfaced something in us — or those around us — that is out of character. Experiences that have shocked us and made us wonder who in the world we are. Experiences in which we said or did something that is counter to how we would normally respond.

One thing this has taught me is to be kinder, gentler with myself. After all, I am NOT a thief!

AND… to be kinder, gentler with others.

And as we do that, I’m guessing that we just may be able to have joy in the journey of this thing called “Life.”

One of the most important lessons I began learning (“began” because I’m still learning!) when we lived in Romania under Communism was to be thankful. In everything. NO exceptions. 

We initially lived in Caminul 14 — the only housing option available to us at that time as foreign students. Our tiny, narrow dorm room had two twin beds, each with a desk and chair at the end. If either of us leaned back in our chair we’d bump the other! A sink completed our little home — the bathroom was either down the hall (for men) or up two flights of stairs (for me and the other foreign women). I remember washing our clothes by hand, hanging them on a line above our beds to dry… being irritated by the drip, drip, drip that interrupted our sleep.

I had a terrible attitude… complained to my young husband (we’d only been married three years); grumbled about our colleagues who lived in Vienna—who had hot water and electricity ALL the time, plus a washing machine AND clothes dryer; questioned why in the world God had sent us there. My wise young husband had us do a Bible study on coveting, which helped me see that wishing for/wanting something that others had and I didn’t was, in a word, sin. Coveting. Yuck. 

And… one of the primary results of a covetous attitude is discontentment.

As a practical application to help deal with this attitude we started a daily habit that still is a part of our lives… over 40 years later! Every night before we go to sleep we review the day and think through all the things we’re thankful for. Short little sentences. Not asking God for anything. For example, “I’m thankful for a good talk with Katie.”  “I’m thankful for finding cheese at the market.” (that was a BIG deal back then!!!) “ I’m thankful our families are healthy.” 

Some nights, the only thing I could honestly say I was thankful for was that the day was over.

But… what began to happen was that throughout the day I would “interpret” whatever problem or inconvenience I encountered through the lens of thankfulness… and what a difference it has made! I’m not done learning this lesson, though. This COVID season of life is providing ample opportunities to continue learning… and practicing being thankful!

May we all develop hearts of thankfulness… and together grow in our ability to have joy in the journey of this thing called “Life.”

I started writing this July 27th … when, the previous week, we had received word that ALL domestic flights from our city to the capital were suspended. Since September 1st, however, a handful of domestic flights are once again in service. And yet an eerie silence has ruled the sky, which at one time was teeming with both domestic and international flights. At that same time (back in July) bus travel to the capital was also be suspended.

My response… I’m beginning to feel trapped. Stuck. Again.

For the thirteenth time (not exactly sure when the counting began), a nationwide Emergency Decree has been extended. From August 1st to September 30th. And then there have been regular “rumors” about when our part of the country will be reopening for tourism, when vaccines will be available, when schools can go back to in-person versus online instruction.

Ugh. Here we go again dealing with uncertainty and the feelings of dread, fear, hopelessness that accompany it…

“Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life.”

Proverbs 13:12

There’s a lot of truth packed in that little proverb. I was talking with a friend in the US this morning who excitedly shared about an upcoming visit with her brother. Having something to look forward to, to plan for is proving to be such a boost to her morale! It is helping her see beyond the challenges she’s facing at work, the upheaval associated with a myriad of changes simultaneously bombarding her, the grieving of life-as-she-knew-it to something yet to be defined.

I guess that’s partly why I’m struggling. Those “looking-forward-to-it” things have been few and far between these days. Life has been a series of putting plans, desires on hold… for a LONG time now.

And yet… I think God is wanting to show me how I can incorporate glimmers of hope, so to speak, into my life. For instance, I can TAKE the INITIATIVE and get together with a friend for coffee (thankfully, cafes and restaurants ARE open!). Instead of wallowing in my frustration at not being able to visit with family (for two years already!) I can CHOOSE to be THANKFUL for zoom calls, emails, Messenger chats that are enabling us to keep in touch. I can BE HONEST with God and with others regarding how I’m really doing instead of trying to put on a bold, happy face.

Yes, I need to be honest with God, to pour out my heart — my longings, my frustrations, my fears — to Him.

What might you be able to incorporate into your life this week to combat the inevitable “hope deferred” kinds of feelings? How might you bring hope to someone else? We’re all in this thing called “Life” together…

… and together, may we have joy in the journey.