It only seems appropriate that I write something today. After all, it was my mom who inspired me to start writing; hence, the inception of this blog… and today marks twelve years since we said goodbye to her here on earth…
Those weeks prior to her death were filled with unforgettable memories…
- Having a family reunion with both of my siblings and their kids — all but one of her six grandchildren was able to be there — and watching the delight as she was introduced to her two newest great-grandchildren! Listening to her as she shared her faith journey with all of us. Savoring stories told, memories being made.
- Precious visits and phone calls with dear friends from her 90+ years, including giving her OK to a former teacher/family friend who had been recently engaged.
- An unexpected visit from the local fire company — complete with hook & ladder truck and three fully suited-up firemen — to investigate what we thought was a gas leak. Thankfully, it was a faulty CO2 detector. But she LOVED talking with the men and asking them questions (once a teacher, always a teacher and learner) and having her picture taken with them!
- Laughing hysterically with my sister as we watched a YouTube video to try to figure out how to use adult diapers — and then practicing on one another so that we would be better prepared to care for our mom. My brother just shook his head, wondering what on earth we were up to!
- Hearing her exclaim somewhat disappointedly, “Oh, I thought I’d be waking up in heaven!” after one of her frequent naps.
And then, on August 31st at 12:21 am, after my sister told her, “It’s Sunday! This is the day the Lord has made! Let us rejoice and be glad in it!” she was ushered into the presence of her Lord and Savior.
That first blog (see below) was written only a few months after her death. Twelve years later I see some uncanny parallels.
We had moved to Thailand five months after her death… and now, it’s been nine months since we moved from there to our home country. I’m once again going through an adjustment period. Once again needing to be reminded that God is cheering for us and wants to see us grow and prosper. Once again recognizing how significant it is to cling to the things I know are true. To guard my mind and heart from all the what if’s and when’s and what’s next thoughts that bombard my thinking.
I’ve been mulling over the idea of longings… what does my heart long after? What are the things that capture my attention? How do my longings influence my affections? My time and energy?
Why?
Because what I long for shapes my life.
Approval, acceptance, material possessions, success, power, control, money… longing after them is like drinking from a well that doesn’t have any water in it. Longing to hear my mother’s voice, to be encouraged by her… none of these is capable of satisfying the deepest longing of my soul, which is to be known and loved by my Father. To serve Him.
My soul longs, yes faints
for the courts of the Lord;
my heart and flesh sing for joy
to the living God!
Psalm 84: 1
As a deer pants for flowing streams,
so pants my soul for You, God.
My soul thirsts for God,
for the living God.
Psalm 42: 1-2
Twelve years ago I was grappling with missing my mom. Today my circumstances have changed, and yet God continues to use others to speak His message of hope and healing to my heart. His Word keeps me on track, realigning my perspective when I get bogged down in who-knows-what. He reminds me that He sees what I’m going through. That He hears the unspoken words that struggle to express my thoughts.
In a word, He cares.
And that, dear friends, is why “I’m still perking along!” as my mother used to say, and endeavoring to have joy in the journey of this thing called “Life!”
Some of the thoughts on longing come from The Worship Initiative daily devotional by Paul David Tripp, August 28, 2026. https://www.theworshipinitiative.com
Joy in the Journey 