I was in my late twenties when our good friend’s father was killed in a car accident. And yet the way in which that news was conveyed has been indelibly seared on my heart and mind…
My husband and I, along with our friend and several others, had been camping over the weekend. When we stopped at Christina’s to drop her off, her father told all of us to come inside. We gathered in a circle in the dining room, unsure of what was going on.
Her father then looked intently at each of us and asked each of us in turn, “Are you ready to die?”
Gulp. I’d never been asked that before! I fumbled before saying that yes, I think so. After all, isn’t that the “correct” response for a Christ follower?! Shouldn’t we always be ready/not be afraid to die because of knowing that it means being eternally with God in heaven? In any case…
He then shared a verse from the Bible that instructs us to “number our days, that we may cultivate and bring to God a heart of wisdom” (Psalm 90:12, Amplified Bible ).
After several minutes of subdued silence — letting those words sink in — he told us that our friend’s father had been killed several hours earlier in a car accident.
Fast forward forty-some years… and another person, someone I’ve never even met but who has been one of my brother and sister-in-law’s dearest friends, has died. Not from a car accident, but in a bizarre, tragic turn of events: he contracted an infection after accidentally cutting himself on a dumpster as he threw out the trash.
The past two weeks, ever since being asked to pray, my heart has been wrenched with each update, each a harbinger of news that I fervently wished would be positive… but became increasingly negative. Increasingly devoid of hope.
And then… yesterday afternoon…
Bill passed into the loving arms of his Savior at 3:10 pm today. He was surrounded by family.
This morning, as I was journaling, I found myself wondering why I was so affected by all of this. Maybe it’s because of this stage of life… In my twenties (and the next few decades) it was our parents’ friends who were dying… but now… we’re that generation. Now it’s people our age or younger, as was Bill.
My husband and I talked about this in-between time we’re currently in and what it means to “cultivate and bring to God a heart of wisdom.” And I’m beginning to see how in God’s economy, there actually is NO in-between time.
It seems that learning to “number my days” encompasses learning to live wisely. Making the most of each day, living it to its fullest. Being intentional in using and investing the gifts God has entrusted to me. Seeing each day as a gift and not one to be squandered away by wallowing in the past or being obsessed by the future, which is filled with unknowns that can only sidetrack me from undivided attention to the NOW.
Yes, my heart aches for this dear family who are in the throes of grieving and navigating life without their dear husband and father. And yet I’m personally thankful for the wake-up call that has reminded me to “number [my] days, that [I] may cultivate and bring to God a heart of wisdom.” If there is to be any joy in the journey of this thing called “Life!” then that, dear friends, is how it will be achieved.
Joy in the Journey 